An Ostentatious Eve

An Ostentatious Eve

The garden flickered a luminous glow along the husk
A brilliance that croons along the greenery
My tresses languid down the ivory
Netted among the grounds forced to tameness
He came to me slithering.
A jade coloring that lagged towards my bloom
Murmuring disguised truths twirled around my bust anchored to my psyche
The lingo versed in the tongue of my shape
The underwritten oath that covenanted my amour-propre
Expansion from the He to which I was bound

Trickery and wile imperative to reach abandon
Femme verse Virile
Forbidden bark rippled along my tips
He came waltzing, enticed by my personage
Convinced, he reached and with that final ruminate took
the crispness tantalizes as the polish drips from his eyes, bleaches pastel into my skin

Violence, Calamity
Carnage, Plight
Divinity bottomed, my glory a reversion
Pine coloring danced along the drained grounds
Cackling and slinking as clumps of my golden mane hang lifeless
My eminence drained, my actions fruitless
My vanity, disastrous

The man bred monstrosity
My lipstick smeared down that sang like blood
This modernized corruption,
the guilt behind the smoke coming from this gun

The emerald serpent, a shaded lover
left me stranded spattered in gore
Smoke clogged the airways as the trident turned native
Sparks the image, imprinted in my brain
As darkness  ushered me home

 

Author's Note

Reviews are ALWAYS welcome =D Working hard to make my poems up to par

Reviews

[Seracies]

Beautiful description and imagery.

[Gordon Purkis]

really incredible work.

[Drew Wade]

this is so great. you have a beautiful descriptive style that I love love love. don't worry, I'm not your typical gusher. the only thing I word change is the word 'lingo' to language.. because I think with all the description going on to slip into slang would be a travesty.

I love this line the most: "The man bred monstrosity." oooohh. ahhhhh. oh yes. quite nice.

[THE LOST ROSE]

How about above par. You have a romantic relationship with the english language that is un matched. How does something so gothic sounds so passionate. I fell in love with every other sentence in this piece. I am blown away. I am going to hang with you tonight for a few more of your poems. Great write I've been looking for you!

[Wondering Mind]

The effort put into this profound piece of poetic prose is definately worthy of more than a comment or a simple review. The old tale is told with wonderful word weaving, obvious skill, and deep thought. A pleasure to read.

[J]

Damn, there's so much passion in this...
Sensual, gothic in a way (in a good way) and very rhythmic.
You're obviously well-read and you show it.

Whew.

Crap comment, I know, but I'm getting back into this...
J

[Legion]

I would have to say it is definetly up to par. Well written. Kudos to you.