The Inspector

She used to only come to visit, but now, she never wants to leave.

It was 3am

Again

My thoughts had managed to lose sight of sleep

They were too busy attending our old friend:

Insanity

Self-hate

Or how I like to call her

The Inspector

 

She began her surprise visits my 6^th grade year

Seeming to only want to help me improve myself,

And not realizing the future damage she would do,

I let her into my mind, my sanctuary,

She’d only rarely visit at first

Make a few helpful comments here and there

Run faster.

You can do better than that.

C’mon, push yourself a bit harder.

Then walk herself out the door

She was just helping

This went on for months

 

My 7^th grade year

Inspections became more frequent

More harsh

You may need to work out a bit more.

There’s no chance he’ll like you. Pick someone else.

Don’t do that. They’ll think you’re even more annoying.

Oblivious

That’s what I was

Oblivious to the garden of weeds she was growing

In my sanctuary

In my mind

She was just helping

 

My 8^th grade year

They were no longer visits

She had moved in

Making sure I didn’t rip out her precious weeds

You never do anything right.

Nobody likes you.

You’re so annoying.

Inspecting all day

Criticizing me all night

I WANTED HER OUT

I missed-

No

I craved peace and quiet

 

It was 3am

The inspector was speaking

I’ve been stuck with you for 4 years.

Let me out!

Once you’re gone, I can move on.

Nobody wants you here anyways!

Can’t you follow orders?

Let.

Me.

Out.

The weeds in my mind, my sanctuary

Were now growing, climbing down to my heart

The inspector willing them to squeeze out the little life I had left in me

I sliced and sliced and sliced at my wrist

Hoping to cut out the now prickling vines

I swallowed the pills, so many pills

Hoping to poison the soil

STOP! STOP!

What are you doing?

No!

I was just following orders.

No!

This is what the inspector asked for

To be set free

No!

 

It was 3am

Again

My thoughts had managed to lose sight of sleep

They were too busy attending our old friend:

Insanity

Self hate

Or how I like to call her

The Inspector

Author's Note

This is meant to be a Slam Poem. I wrote it for an english assignment in school. It's my very first Slam Poem, so please take that into consideration :)

Reviews

[garrshaw]

Whether first or not, it's a fine slam :)

[w.s.15]

thank you so much :)