About that...Neurotic Tales

This is actually just an excerpt from a "collective," I'm working on.... Feel free to constructively tear me apart! :)

This isn’t happening to me and I can’t do this.  Yet, it had, and there before me, clung to the inside rim was the evidence - along with millions of grinning microbes dancing around the bowl just waiting to infect some unwitting sap. Or so I imagined, but in any case, today was the day, and I had been imbued with the honorary title of sap.  “Nobody’s ever died from this,” I said aloud without thinking.  Then unable to retract my words, I protracted paranoia instead.  Had the woman in the next stall heard? What if she knew someone that I knew?  I imagined her, and my soon to be former friend, smoozing over non-fat, sugar-free, organic latte’s.  “Did you know she talks to public toilets?”  But, my soon to be former friend, lacking in important details adding clarity to the matter, would never come to understand that this wasn’t just any toilet, it was a strange public toilet that had seen many butts.  And this one, the toilet I mean, was staring back at me from a public place fetid with germs - the gross factor alone was teasing bile into a turgor in my esophagus.  Somehow, I felt forced into this, with my hands itching in anticipation of rampantly roving bacteria ascending my fingertips and advancing across my hands …but I had to do it.  I couldn’t just leave it there, so I did what I had to do.

 

Filling my fist full of jagged tissues tugged from a roll wrapped so tight that most of my efforts floated to the floor and fluttered into the next stall, I did the do.  Thrusting the tightly held wad towards the offending debris, I scraped it into the bowl in one, swift, triumphant motion.

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Feeling somewhat emotionally drained now, I stood before the sink, furiously washing my hands up to the elbows, when my eyes met those of the woman exiting the stall that had been next to mine.  I didn’t know her - yes!  And though this offered some relief, I still had to suffer her curious glare, or was it a look of disgust reflected from the mirror in front of us?  “She didn’t truly understand the situation, we were separated by 'privacy panels' for cripes sakes,” entertained my thoughts“… self-righteous witch...” 

 

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My ordeal now behind me, I exited the restroom and took care to slather on hand-sanitizer.  I had, after all, touched the door handle.  And, seriously, who knows where some peoples’ hands have been?

Author's Note

Feel free to tear it apart... :-)

Reviews

[Wondering Mind]

Well, you certainly show very effective writing skills...The reason I say this is because I am such a bad reviewer of stories, more of a poems person, or my excuse for the short concentration syndrome on websites that I have, but having said all that, the narration compelled me to read on..Now, I'll go for a soap and rinse!! :)

[YouoweYoupay]

That was an interesting piece. I like your choice of words, and the fact that you've offered me a closer view of a person who suffers from an excessive fear of germs and whatnot. I think I'm going to have to think twice before using a public restroom next time, unless it was in an airport, those are squeaky clean...most of the time *stares at hands * Great write! I'll be reading you more often.

[Charles]

As a fellow OCDer, I'm familiar with the strained tones of concern over microscopic mouths. I applaud the courage you've displayed here because both kinds of paper reveal your material...

[Elle B. T.]

The first sentence hooked me and so did the next and the next and the next. You really know how to grab the reader's attention and keep their full attention till the end. Great job!

I enjoyed this! I found humor in it, i was actually laughing...However, I noticed there are no reviewers who bring reference to the comical nature of the story, so now im questioning myself lol. At any rate, Its a real good read

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

you engage the audience from the first paragraph and offer a clear and concise view of germphobia in a totally relatable way~ I feel the narrator's plight intimately~ I AVOID public facilities and have been known to hold it to bursting~lol

[Dream Weaver]

Such a neurotic yet delightful write...
I really enjoyed this...Very stong
writing and a great story...