The Raven, A Co-Write With Rick Puetter

Inspired by William Blake's poem, "The Tyger", a poem intended to pay homage to this great poet.

Photo Author: Bombtime. The photograph may be found at

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Female_adult_raven.jpg

Licensed under GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2.

Dear Reader,

     This poem is a joint effort of Sheila Kline and Rick Puetter and is co-posted on each of our WritesCafe sites (http://www.writerscafe.org/writers/wvhillbilly47/ and http://www.writerscafe.org/writers/rpuetter/). It was inspired by, and is meant to pay homage to, William Blake’s poem “The Tyger”. We hope you enjoy the poem.

                                   Sheila and Rick

 

THE RAVEN

 

Raven, raven, Hand of Night

Lost in Shadow, hid’ from sight.

Mask, you, secrets there from Man

Contemplating evil plan?

 

Each new morn where e'er you fly

Cawing scream sets peace awry

Hound you now for mortal soul?

For who next will church bell toll?

 

When the hunted feels thy pain

Dirges, sad, ' not sung in vain!

Whether sent to Heav’n or Fire

Thy embrace ‘ no man’s desire!

 

And what scripture and what book

Could bear fair witness to thy look?

Thy deathly gaze God's love belies

And with last croaks you cause us ' die!

 

Galaxies will cease to turn

Ere for Man's soul you cease to yearn

Tell, did Dark One with His Hate

Spawn you in His tryst with Fate?

 

Raven, raven, Bird of Blight

Wrapped in blackest cloak of night

Would you the Creator bite

And shun salvation in thy spite?

 

©2009 Sheila Kline and Richard Puetter, each  and  individually

All rights reserved

 

Author: Waugsberg. The photograph may be found at:

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tumulo_de_D._Pedro_I_57a.jpg

Licensed under GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2.

  

 

 

Author's Note

I wish to thank Rick Puetter for bringing this poem to fruition! He had sent me William Blakes's poem, "The Tyger" several months back, and I have it posted on my public profile page. The poem impressed me so much that I wanted to write a poem similar to it. Rick graciously, with his great poetic talent took on the task of seeing my idea come to life as he refined, polished, added, and helped create this beautiful write! THANK YOU RICK!!!! I am forever grateful to you for all the help you have given, and continue to offer to me with my writing endeavors!! This is "OUR MASTERPIECE"!


A few comments on Lilmikee's Review:

Thank you for your review and kind words.

We have few comments on the points you raise. First on the line "Mask, you, secrets there from Man", yes, the question of punctuation in poetry is always thorny. One battles between leaving the punctuation out entirely, putting some of it in, and putting it all in. We have taken a middle ground. The commas around the word "you" are required for correct punctuation. However it is common practice to read lines such as this in poetry without the pauses. Our alternative, of course, is to leave the punctuation out entirely and then there is no issue with pauses. However then the punctation is incorrect, but this is normally ignored in poetry, especially if you leave all punctuation out. So as pointed out before, the correct punctuation is put in, but the line is meant to be read without pauses. We are taking a "middle-ground" position.

Next on the line "Whether sent to Heav'n or Fire", you correctly point out that we deliberately dropped a letter to preserve the meter, and we certainly did. You say, however, that "I feel it comes out even more awkward as the reader has to consciously drop the second syllable". Yes, this is true, but that is common practice, especially with pieces of Blake's era. Perhaps you are familiar with poetry from this period and you have already mentioned that you had not read Blake before. Indeed, the use of "Heav'n" might be considered another nod in honor of Blake since he used this quite a bit himself as in his poem "An Imitation of Spenser"--see the abstracted segment form this poem below.

An Imitation of Spenser -- Wlliam Blake

"...And thou, Mercurius, that with wingd brow
Dost mount aloft into the yielding sky,
And thro' Heav'n's halls thy airy flight dost throw,"

So you can see the dropping of leters and strong contraction (as in thro') are quite common in pieces of this era. And we have followed this style throughout. There is another example in our poem in the second line: "Lost in Shadow, hid from sight", where we strongly contract "hidden" as hid'.

Thank you for reviewing "The Raven" and caring enough to provide detailed comments.

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

Years later, I still read and feel your collaboration with Rick as one if not the best of collaborations. You have not used Blake for your own ends but shadowed his creation with absolute respect, even though miniscule changes have been made. Superb work offered by two poets who initially welcomed me into the cafe and tried to make something of my scribbless! Best and true wishes..

[Sheila Kline]

Dearest Emma!
Your reviews are ever welcomed as they are always kind, poignant, and appreciated as that of a writer who consistently displays wisdom while appreciating the humble work of others!
I again do thank you and shall always be grateful to call you a friend of the highest of highs!!

[emmajoygreen]

If only you could see my first smile of the day!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is so well written, and it really hit a chord with me.

I teach "Child by Tiger" by Thomas Wolfe...the short story, and Blakes poem goes along with the story, parallels it.

this poem reminded me not only of Blakes poem but held a flavor of Poe also...

you have combined them wonderfully with your own words.

jacob

[Sheila Kline]

Thank you! I am pleased you were able to relate to the words of this write! Blake is one of my favorite poets, as is Poe so a blending of the two was intentional!

[Helena]

I'm delighted that you decided to submit your classic poem to my collab. contest.
Absolute classic Sheila and Rick. You blended inks perfectly in this unforgettable write! Thank you.

~ Helena ~

[Helena]

Oh bravo again poets. This was an awesome read. Write on you
talented two! ~ Helena

[Tina Kline]

As I read this I thought of the "Tyger Tyger" poem but yours stands on
its own. The dark way the raven is viewed plays out here very well
but I sensed more than that is this poem.

Great poem! Job very well done by both of you.
thanks for sharing this!

I really do love Ravens!

[lawrence bear]

This is a good piece, I liked it, thanks for sharing with me.

[bob, small b. aka invs]

i'm always afraid when someone uses another poem as a form. it usually comes off as a poor parody. this is an exception. Tyger Tyger is one of my favorite poems so i'm glad you did it justice. the reverence for your raven is just as strong as blake's reverence for the tyger. you also managed to, while using archaic language and style at times, stay easily understandable. something that blake did not always accomplish for me. very nicely done.

[Simone]

An amazing poem, expertly woven together. It was lovely and I really look foward to reading more of your work

[Jinx's Heart]

W-O-W! What a fun and fluent piece. I really enjoyed reading this. You both did so very well together. Bravo! I really like it. Awesome job, you two. :)

[ABitBrokenPoetry]

this is beautiful. dark & amazing descriptions. perfect word choice & the flow is perfect. i love the dark & deep metaphor behind the raven here. this is an amazing collaboration! a brilliant piece.