The One That Loved You To Death

Hello my love,

Together forever we promised

Eternity forgotten, eternity wasted

We can be what we once were

 

I'm still here my love,

waiting for your return

the day we'll be together again

the day of my salvation

 

Don't cry my love,

death will never be the one to tear us apart

No matter what happens

I will forgive you that's what you said

 

I'm sorry my love,

I can't be what you want me to be

I'll always be me

The one that loved you to death...

 

Reviews

[Brianna Brie]

Hello my love,
Together forever we promised
Eternity forgotten, eternity wasted
We can be what we once were

Wonderful poem! It is so original in its content. Thank you for entering it into the In My Loves Words contest.

[Tay Mo :)]

I love this! I love how you repeated "my love" so many times...it made it seem...i dunno, but i liked this alot!

This is going to be a finalist in the Romance Contest you entered a while back (sorry, i have had some things come up and haven't been able to read the submissions as quickly as i had hoped)
Congrats! :]

[Titus McGuire]

I truly liked this poem, it has such a dark beauty to it.

'Together forever we promised
Eternity forgotten, eternity wasted'

These lines were very well written (and my favourite lines from theis poem). To be promised forever and then to have that promise forgotten, and the final line of the verse, 'We can be what we once were'. There is still hope to be together, but not how it had originally been intended.

'I'm still here my love,
waiting for your return
the day we'll be together again
the day of my salvation'

'I'm still here...waiting for your return' These lines, to me, are implying the fact that 'my love' is dead, and 'I'm' still alive. 'The day we'll be together again, the day of my salvation'....the doors beyond the grave, that's when they'll reunite.

'Don't cry my love,
death will never be the one to tear us apart
No matter what happens
I will forgive you that's what you said'

'death will never be the one to tear us apart', this, to me, implies that death is what brought them back together, it was 'him' that tore them apart. 'No matter what happens, I will forgive you, that's what you said'. Justification...you are forgiven for your misdeed. You did what must be done to make it as it once was...to make it forever, as was promised.

'I'm sorry my love,
I can't be what you want me to be
I'll always be me
The one that loved you to death...'

The apology, the acceptance, and the realization. You are sorry for what had to be done to make it eternal, and you accept that you were not what 'he' wanted you to be, and you realize who you are and what you have done... 'The one that loved you to death...'

This is what I gathered from the piece, and it is a grand story that you weaved into your poem. Very well written, hauntingly beautiful. Bravi.

[Catastrophe]

beautiful, i love this write..
raw emotion right there...great job

[Raven Held]

Really powerful. The repetition of 'my love' at the start of every stanza really did the trick. And I absolutely love the last stanza. It's heart-breaking!

All in all, a lovely heart-wrenching piece. Well-penned. Thanks for sharing!

Loves,
Raven