untitled...

 

Like tracer rounds, suspended in flight
I gaze upon the stars this night
Frozen in time
Absorbed in the darkness of skies
Consumed in the mind
Visible through my eyes
No thoughts of death
My attention withdrawn
In the air is my breath
From the cold it was spawned
Away from this pain
I wish I could be
All attempts are in vain
I fear there's no hope for me
Still sparkling up above
The stars are just so bright
My heart contains no love
Filled with the desire to fight

Overwhelming sense of rage
Fire spewing on every page
My lungs are burning from the start
I feel it ripping my soul apart

Yet at the center
I feel peace
Calming me down
Containing the beast
I continue to breathe
And it burns a little less
I just can't believe
And now must confess

As I stare at the sky
While men around me die
I care not for the loss
It means nothing for the cost
And I think about my life
With its malcontented strife
How could things like this be
When did this become for me

My orders are to sweep and clear
All unfriendly far and near
Suddenly in my sights they appear
Knowing that I can smell their fear
I squeeze the trigger they disappear
I don't like that I like it here

Reviews

[Holly Mason]

that last line is a true look into who you are and what you were feeling
My grandfather (he adopted me so) father...didn't like war but he did like defending his country and his fellow soldiers.He was an amazing man lost to me when I was far to young.He was all I had.When I read military writing I try to keep his teachings in my mind.
You have shared something that was not easy to share and that is just a blessing for the reader.I really do hope that you find a title in your soul it would add greatly to your piece.
Thank you for sharing

[x_ranger]

I've thought of a couple different titles, but they always sounded contrived and I decided against them. I'm sure that I'll eventually come up with one, though. Thanks for the the feedback.

[Anna a. S.M.]

This was just ... I have no words for my feelings right now.
Your poem took my breath away. Thanks for sharing! :)

[b.platte]

I like how you separated the stanzas. It makes it easier to read and helps it flow actually.

This was very well written. It would be scary realizing this. Apathy and sadism. But, they tend to be the most interesting writings to read, and this was definitely interesting to read. Good job!

[x_ranger]

It's actually a big relief to hear feedback on something I never considered sharing, until just recently. I'm just glad nobody has told me it sucks yet. Thank you for reading this and giving me positive feedback.

[b.platte]

I'm glad you shared it! It definitely doesn't suck. :)

[Stanley Wilson]

nice poem keep sharing