My sweet

My sweet

A Poem by XO Nonie

She used to look up to me
To see how she should be
But I taught her to be herself
Spread love and hope as she wanted to
And that she did
Now I watch as if on the sidelines
On the world my baby sister is creating
And I can't help but grin
My sweet you've done it
And I couldn't be prouder

© 2016 XO Nonie



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Featured Review

It feels very precious to me, when one sibling feels true loving encouragement toward another. You've expressed that feeling, with simplicity, yet also depth. Coming from a family where everyone was abused & pitted against each other, I have always wished for this kind of closeness between me & my siblings. I never write about such things becuz it's hard to imagine. But your poem paints a picture of how it can be.

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

XO Nonie

11 Months Ago

Oh my dear well I'm glad i gave you an idea :)



Reviews

You have sent her out with confidence.
She'll respect you loads now.

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cute! It is great to see siblings loving each other, especially when the big brother is caring for his younger sibling.


Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A amazing poem.
"My sweet you've done it
And I couldn't be prouder"
I liked the above lines and you honor yourself by honoring your sister. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This feels paternal to me I like it, it brought a smile on my face. The way you write and your rhyme scheme is interesting and not the norm to my eyes and mind. I also enjoy what you produce. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A beautiful write ,Nony... This is how we feel towards our siblings...
Keep sharing..

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow. It felt so amazing to realize you have expressed your true feelings for your little sister. I would say she too would feel proud to have such as amazing sibling as you :)

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I truly love this poem. It's heart warming, well written and it made smile :)

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

XO Nonie

11 Months Ago

thank you dear !
you really brought out the feeling of the closeness you can have with your sibling, very endearing poem, that draws out your connection. ...:)


Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

• She used to look up to me
• To see how she should be
This is a fact, true, but not terribly evocative or vivid. You're telling. But suppose you jazz it up a bit with something like:
- - - - -
She used to be my biggest fan
and tried to fill my shoes
"I'll be like you," she swore to me.
"And I will never lose."

Why walk my way, you silly girl
and and only shadow me."
When you can blaze a shining path
that everyone one will see.
Etc.
- - - -
Not great poetry. I don't write great poetry, and this was dashed off with little thought and weak rhymes. But see the difference? What I said was pretty much what you were saying, but rather than simply state it, I alluded to the thought in language that evokes emotion in-the-reader. I provided a cadence and maintained it to give a bit of a beat. And isn't that more fun than explaining? It's more fun to write, too.

Hang in there, and keep on writing. It never gets easier, but you do become confused on a higher level.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This made me cry. I have a younger sister and it really made me think about her and how long it has been since i have seen her. But i thought about it. It made me think about my sister and how she is doing. It made me really happy.

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

XO Nonie

11 Months Ago

aww thats so sweet thank you for sharing

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Added on October 28, 2016
Last Updated on October 28, 2016

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XO Nonie
XO Nonie

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