My Only Love

You are the wind full of bliss

That blows me to good paths 

Like a sweet and gentle summer’s kiss

Even in my dreams, it still lasts

You are my strength, my source of hope

You raise me up everytime I fall down

Even when I feel I couldn’t cope 

You always turn a smile from a frown

My life’s star -- it’s only You

A star that leads me to the right direction

You help me make my dreams come true

And do things without hesitation

When things don’t go the way I like them to

Never did I question You nor put You to blame

I ask for Your grace and tightly hold on to You

For You light up my life into a burning flame

Nothing can compare to Your goodness

What You are transcends the earth

With You I am filled with gladness

You are the one I truly love since birth

Feb 2012

Reviews

[H L Rose]

I love the sentiment of this. It truly explores devotion.

I like the alliteration with
“wind full of bliss / That blows”

“That blows me to good paths” reminds me of Psalms 23. In fact a lot of this poem does, but perhaps that's just because I spent a while studying it this summer.

The first stanza as a whole I think is my favorite part of the poem!

The second stanza also has a lovely sentiment, but I think that perhaps you could work on its flow a bit. “You raise me up everytime I fall down” doesn't seem to flow great to me and the rhyme with “frown” I think could be improved. But I could be wrong. I'm no expert.

“My life's star – it's only you”
I think that is a fantastic line!
The second line of stanza 3,
“A star that leads me to the right direction”
also seems a bit off with it's flow, but this may be because I think “to” would sound better as “in”. Again, just an opinion.
I think “and do things without hesitation” is a really interesting line. I think it would be cool if it was expanded upon.

I love the metaphor with
“For You light up my life into a burning flame”
but I do think the wording is a bit awkward.

The last stanza is simply beautiful, but I do wonder if the last line seems a but strange. But that's purely opinion.

I like to try and be helpful with my reviews which is why I gave some of my opinions, but I don't actually know a whole lot so of course just head whatever you think is good advice.

Overall I really do love this and enjoyed reading it! I took it as a wonderful expression of faith!

[The Immortal Phoenix]

(Micky) This stinks like trash. i will take this trash and make it better