This Is The End

This Is The End

A Chapter by Taylor_Anne_xoxo

     I woke up at 6a.m., on June 22nd, considering calling Liz just to make sure she was okay but ultimately decided against it. From 8:30 until noon I was at Mr. V's annual summer basketball clinic telling Alex, Emily and Blake about the conversation I had with Liz the previous night. "Wow," they had all responded.

     At around noon Blake and I walked back to her house. When we arrived I started boiling water to make mac and cheese. As I walked over to set the pot of water on the stove chills were suddenly sent up my spine. I pointed it out to Blake even though it happened all the time. "That means a ghost is in the room," Blake teased. "I'm going to take a shower." She called from the stairway.

     Bent over the counter in Blake's kitchen, texting and watching MTV's 'NEXT', my cell phone suddenly lit up. "Elizabeth Clark is on her way to the hospital in an ambulence. She tried killing herself and they're not sure she's going to make it." The words stung my heart and my vision began to blur. I forwarded the message from Makayla to Grace, hoping she would show it to Tyler.

     Just as I began feel this subtle dizziness, Blake came down stairs and wrapped her arms around me. My eyes started to redden and sting as hot tears poured down my cheeks. "It'll be okay. She'll be fine babe. I promise." Blake's words sounded so sincere yet my heart was telling me it was all a lie. How could this be happening?

     Despite the emense feeling like I was going to immediately throw up, I scooped out a bowl of mac and cheese; something had to make this better. I sat on Blake's back lawn crying for nearly twenty minutes until a foggy thought crawled into my mind. S**T! ALISON! Alison didn't know and I knew she didn't.

      I called Ahli's house and when I heard Alison's gentle feminine voice pick up the phone I instantly repeated into my pit of crying. "Oh my god, Tay," Alison sounded heart broken and I couldn't believe what I was about to say. "What's wrong?" Ahh, the one question I was dreading. Blake held me close as my shaky words spilled out of my heart. How could I really be saying this?

     "Liz...she's...they....we don't know if she's going to be okay." My words stumbled on my tounge and it hurt to realize this is what I was saying and why I was saying it.

     I could hear Alison start to cry. Her girly squeaks that I would have giggled at during any other point of time now sounded so tramatized. I sat there crying in Blake's arms comforting Alison for another ten minutes. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid Taylor. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you too," Alison's pain was slicing throught my already bleeding heart as she spoke.

     "I promise as long as you promise you won't either." It felt...comforting...knowing Alison needed me. Alison needed me to be there for her and I simply needed a reason to live and Alison was suddenly becoming my reason not to die. Alison sighed.

     Goodbyes were said and then I realized I should probably call Chianne, one of Liz's other close friends. When Chianne's mom answered the phone she told me Shelly, yet another one of her friends had already called but Chianne was at her sister's house. Chianne's mom was planning on going to get her and tell Chianne herself. Part of me was happy I didn't have to tell Chianne.

     As I went to hang up Blake wrapped her arms around me and kissed my forehead. She then proceded to turn her cell phone screen towards me, exposing another message from Makayla that simply read "Liz just passed away." I collapsed into Blake's arms as my eyes scanned the heart-piercing words. Blake stood there cradling and comforting me repeating the phrase, "It'll be okay, I promise," over and over again for a lengthy ten minutes.

     "Will you walk with me to tell Alison? I just can't tell her something like that over the phone." I whispered softly, raising my eyeliner-splattered, teardrop soaked eyes to meet Blake's. Blake nodded and we walked to Alison's. I had Blake tell my mom and dad about what had happened. The thought of Liz really being gone couldn't even sneak into the part of my mind thinking rationally and there was no way I could actually say it.

     When Blake and I got to Alison's house her mother answered the door. "Alison's in the shower. You can go in her room, I'll go get her," she said softly nodding towards Alison's bedroom. My body shook as I began realizing what was happening and why I was in Alison's room.

     Alison came in the room with fresh black eyeliner surrounding her eyes and three little black dots under her glasses. Her black hair was up in a white towel upon her head and her pale white skin was also carressed in a white towel. I looked at Blake and then nodded. Blake then turned to Alison and proceded in saying "Liz passed away."

     At first Alison's body was motionless, almost as though it was her corpse standing in front of me. "No...this...I...I just talked to her a couple of days ago..." Alison cried into her hands. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around Alison's cold body. Alison rested her head on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around me as well. We stood there crying together for what seemed to be a lifetime (,but then again, a lifetime never seems to be long enough).

     I slowly pulled away. Alison's mother moved closer and gave Alison a taut hug then turned to me and said, "There's plenty of hugs to go around if you need one." I stepped in, without thinking. I did need a hug. But hugs weren't enough.

     From the corner of my eye I could see Blake standing in shock. I knew Blake didn't feel the way Alison and I did so it didn't strike me as shocking that Blake was simply standing there, wide-eyed. "We should go," I declared, wiping away the streaks of Alison's and my own eyeliner. "Please, don't forget the promise," I said turning to Alison once more before hugging her goodbye.

     When Blake and I left Alison's house we walked to Thomas Field, a little baseball/recreational field. I sat in the long, overgrown grass and Blake sat down beside me. "It'll be okay," she mumbled as I sat there crying.

     Ten, twenty, maybe even thirty minutes passed until I stood. "We should get going," I said looking at Blake. Blake and I walked back to her house as I got a message from my mom saying her friend was going to come pick me up and bring me to the hair salon downtown where she worked.

     When he did I just sat there speachless. 'Can this really be happening?' I thought to myself. My mom's friend pulled into the parking lot of the hair salon. "Thanks," I said sliding down and out of his truck. As I started walking I spotted Vanessa. She looked worried. She hugged me briefly and then I instantly made my way to my mom's boyfriend's truck. My eyes stung from the massive amount of crying I had done but tears suddenly started pouring down my cheeks, once again. 'Wake up!' My thoughts screamed. And inside my chest my heart was pleading that I could.

     My mom opened the truck door and slid onto the leather seat. "I'm sorry babe," she wimpered, watching me cry. "I called Sharon and she wasn't working today but as soon as I told her what had happened she said she'd be right in. You have an appointment at 3:30."

     My mother drove me to Skowhegan to meet my therapist. "So, was Liz one of those girls you like-liked?" My mother peered at me from the corner of her eye. I nodded my head, tears still streaming down my cheeks. Like-liked wasn't even close. 'Try madly in love with,' I thought. And as that thought entered my mind, it seemed the draining tears began to crash harder into my hands.

     We arrived at my counselor's office and my dad sat there in the parking lot. I sat in her office for about an hour and a half and by the end I couldn't even cry anymore. When I cried, I could hear myself whimper but tears did not fall any longer from my reddened eyes. Somehow between the time I left the office to that night my mom had picked up Tiffany, and I had wound up back at my house. I really don't remember what happened other than that, I believe the exhaustion and emotional pain blanked out the rest of my memory.



© 2009 Taylor_Anne_xoxo


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Reviews

tay.....idk wat to say. this is such a good peiece but at the same time i hate it,
it brings back all those memories. i hate tht day. it was truly the worst say of my life and so many others. including u. i love you taylor. i always will. forever.
i feel the emotion in this peice like i was u. tht was close to wat happened to me wen liz died.
n i hate to blieve it tht she rly did die. i just wish there was someway i cyd bring her back, ya know! i hate this so much!! i miss her from the bottom of my broken heart! if it was possible, i wud deff jst take her place... :(
i love you tay

Posted 14 Years Ago


I keep re-reading this.
even though I remember all those details so clearly.
I can't help but believe I didn't cry the whole time I was with you.
As soon as you left,it hit me.
It really happened,Liz died.
Walking to courtneys I was bawling.
I guess I was just holding it together for my best friend(:

Posted 14 Years Ago


gah,
I remember that day like it was yesterday.
I love you Taylor Anne Longstaff.

Posted 14 Years Ago



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Added on November 18, 2009


Author

Taylor_Anne_xoxo
Taylor_Anne_xoxo

Madison, ME



About
Okay so quick summary:My name is Taylor. I do consider myself "scene". I have O.C.D. (people think it's funny to f**k up the desks in class before i get there just to see me flip out) I have my moment.. more..

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