The Pin That Pierces

A poem about self-mutilation

The prick of a pin,

To a blue flowing vein,

Dragging hot metal,

A release of pain.

Scarlet leaks through,

A slit of torn skin,

No respond from dead nerves,

It's too shallow, too thin.

Numbing through my chest,

I just want to feel,

Any ounce of pain,

Will make me seem real.

Not enough blood,

Squeeze shut my eyes,

The voice in my head,

Drowns out my cries.

Brain swims in blue,

I'm ready to cave,

With my make-shift shovel,

I dig a deeper grave.

Author's Note

I really wanted to show the intensity of this habit, I hope I conveyed that properly

Reviews

[Dionysus Cain]

this is good ,it starts off okay but it ends with intensity. it has great flow , i jus wished you would have went out of the box a littlemore. but it was good,

[Electric Green Earth Ch..]

You have good flow. Though I will be honest I'm not incredibly keen on this particular topic of poetry, it is well written, your rhyming works well and is not overdone, something that is very hard to achieve when you choose to go that route. well done.

[Wildecat]

So many young people feel this way. You definitely did good job of describing how you feel. Nice write.

[Orlando Murcia]

Umm Ya!

You did a great job
describing this piece

I really enjoyed reading this
because their was a lot of pain and anger
felt through this

Wonderful job
I love the flow and write

Orlando Murcia

[Don Coorough]

Yeah, I certainly felt the intensity. Good work with description. The ending is so very poignant. - EllisD

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Ive read a lot of poems lately about this it seems to me such a sad lonely person is crying out for someone to love, am i wrong ? My nephew confided in me recently that he has done this, and I am not sure what to say to him other than I love him so very much. He says he hasn't done it in a long time, not since my son, his cousin, was killed last year. A promise he made to him. I am concerned and my prayers to you. Thank you for sharing. Debileah