The Last Solution Ch.1A Chapter by caitlin
The smell of stale perfume and last night’s affairs still lingered in the toxic air of the dimly lit room. Paul looked around at each of the candles placed strategically in different places around the small bedroom. The sheets on the bed still lay pushed to the edge of the bed in the same tangled mess they had formed into the previous night. He wondered if Lucinda had attempted to clean up at all after Paul’s visit the previous night. Paul was startled when Lucinda pushed him backwards onto the bed. He propped himself up on his elbows as she climbed onto his lap, feebly trying to undo her lacy bra. “Look Lucinda, I don’t think this is such a good idea anymore, especially tonight. Sally’s been feeling down all day and I should get back to make sure she’s okay. Maybe we can…” Paul sighed. He hated cheating on Sally, but he needed this. “Maybe we can do this again some other time.”
Lucinda tossed her bra aside and savagely tore at Paul’s shirt. “Not a chance buddy. I’m sure your beloved fiancé is perfectly fine. She’s probably just moping around your house like a lost and lonely dog.” She smiled, finally able to get Paul’s shirt off; she forced him onto his back and blanketed him with her warm body. “She’ll get over it, Paul. Besides you need this, I can tell.”
Paul shoved Lucinda off him and rolled off the bed onto his feet. He yanked his shirt out of Lucinda’s hands, staring at her naked bodice. “I just… I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to hurt her anymore; I can’t hurt her anymore. She hasn’t done anything to deserve this.”
His seductive mistress sighed and sat on the edge of her bed. She stared at Paul with a pouty lip and puppy dog eyes. “Come on, just one more night. You did come to me after all. You can’t just show up here and then leave without at least one of getting some satisfaction.” Paul stared back at her, watching her glossy cherry red lips part and close, forming words he didn’t care to hear. Part of him wanted to give in and stay, but his conscious told him to leave and go home to Sally. Lucinda arranged herself in a seductive position and motioned, with a single finger, for Paul to come to her.
All remnants of guilt and resistance melted away. Paul dropped his shirt and climbed back into the bed with Lucinda. The scent of wild-berries and honeysuckle filled his nose. “What is that?” He stared at her with curious eyes.
Lucinda smiled seductively. “It’s my new perfume. Do you like it?”
He nodded. “Yes, I like it very much.” He lay beside Lucinda and began kissing her exposed neck, slowly making his way down just below her stomach. Lucinda began to feel like she was drifting off to Heaven. Paul looked up into her gleaming eyes, unsure whether he should go any further.
Sally grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and twisted the rigged metal cap off, struggling only slightly. It was Paul’s beer, but she didn’t care. She was in desperate need of something to help with at least some of the pain, and she was certain that Paul wouldn’t notice if one beer were missing, much less would he miss it. Even if he did happen to notice its disappearance, he wouldn’t mind. Of course, he also didn’t know about the little miracle growing inside Sally and she intended to keep it that way. If he knew about her pregnancy, Paul would have a fit if he found out about her newly developed drinking habit. She sighed and finished off the last sip before getting another beer from the refrigerator. She knew it wouldn’t be long before her stomach started to swell, making it obvious that she was pregnant. Sally finished the second beer and looked up at the clock on the wall opposite where she stood, behind the small wooden dining table that she and Paul never used anymore. He was late again, third time this week.
It was too quiet in the house without him, quiet enough that she could hear the tick of each passing second, the sound of the clock reminding her how late it was and how much sleep she’d already lost. Why was he doing this to her? She had given him everything, or at least she thought she had, and he had taken everything and more. She picked up the empty bottle she had placed on the counter and dropped the now empty fresh one and the first bottle in the trash, letting a single tear fall as she watched the lid to the trash can fall closed. Sally wiped the lonely tear away and made her way up the dark and silent stairs to her and Paul’s bedroom. She had to try to get some sleep.
Paul could feel himself stumbling into a place where testicles were outnumbered by ovaries and he felt his manliness drain out of his body too quickly. He pulled himself back and rolled of the bed onto his feet once more. “Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!”
Lucinda laughed an intoxicating laugh that would have turned Paul on at any other moment, but now only made his stomach turn more that it already was. “Why do you look so horrified? I can’t be that bad.” She giggled.
Paul just stared at Lucinda with wide eyes. “Not that bad? Lucinda, I…” He paused, too embarrassed to continue. He let out a deep sigh and tried again. “I didn’t pull back soon enough.” His words made him feel even more embarrassed and disgusted with himself. He picked his clothes up from the floor and began dressing, telling himself that he should be disgusted with himself. His guilt had returned, stronger now than before he had agreed to sleep with Lucinda one last time. “We can’t do this anymore! We just can’t!” He looked away from Lucinda, unable to look at her bare skin without feeling nauseated. “I’m sorry. Please don’t ever try to contact me.”
Anger filled Lucinda’s eyes. “But what if you… what if I end up pregnant? You can’t just leave me to deal with a child that you helped to create!”
“Lets not jump to any conclusions. Maybe we’ll be fine… no, not maybe. We will be fine. It wasn’t enough, I’m sure of it.” He sighed and turned away. “If it was, well then I’ve already said I’m sorry.” He took a one-hundred dollar bill and two twenties out of his pocket and tossed the folded bills onto the bed in front of Lucinda.
“One-hundred and forty f*****g dollars, is that all I’m worth to you? You love me, Paul! I can see it in those lying, cheating eyes of yours!”
Paul shook his head. “I don’t love you, Lucinda. I can’t love you, because I love Sally.” He made is way out of the bedroom and into the hallway to the small living room and stopped, looking back at Lucinda who followed close behind him. “Take the money and use it to buy dippers if you need them, or buy some booze or whatever it is you spend your sex money on.” He quickly made his way toward the front door before turning back to Lucinda again.
“You don’t love her, you love me! Why do you always have to bring that suicidal b***h into the picture? Why can’t it be just you and me?” Tears and black mascara streamed down the sides of Lucinda’s face and her voice was desperate and pleading with a hint a frustration.
“There is no picture Lucinda, and there is no ‘you and me,’ not between us. I only love Sally and I’ll only ever love Sally!” Outrage dominated Paul’s typically soothing voice, “And the next time you speak of her in such a manner, I swear to God I’ll…”
“You’ll what? I thought you were done with me! I thought you said we weren’t doing this again! So how would you know what I say about her in the future?” She opened the door and shoved Paul out into the fresh summer night heat. “I hope you two die a happy f*****g death together!” Lucinda slammed the door closed, making her tear and mascara soaked face disappear from Paul’s view.
Paul shoved his hands into his pockets and lowered his head watching rocks, invisible in the darkness, roll along the street as he kicked them. Sally would still be awake when he got home, he knew she would; she always was. He would go up the stairs to their room and lay down with the hope of finding sleep, but instead he would have to stay awake listening to Sally cry about him coming home late yet again. He would lie to her, just like every other time; he’d reassure her with false words, tell her he’d had to stay late at the office even though he was well aware that she already knew the truth. He would apologize countless times and promise it won’t happen again, even though he knew it probably would. It would be the same old routine, just like every other time.
© 2011 caitlin
Added on October 8, 2011
Last Updated on October 8, 2011
The Last Solution
AboutAllpoetry Playlist by caitlin mcgee on Grooveshark I love reading, writing, watching movies, playing video games, playing football with my guy friends, playing baseball and basketball, listening .. more..
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