What Is Left To Reach Out To? Where Is My Hope?A Chapter by Carmen
The warmth of burnt wood is gone, only to leave a scent of smoke. It is like suffering one, but yet why can't you put arms around my neck and send me a farewell. Inhale the smoke, it as if mother had long left the house. If I were to wait, would you desperately hold me tightly once again, Mother? Shes gone already, I have to clear my head. The past won't lead me anywhere. Warmth fade between time, but into the cold is reality. Morning sun, show me the way, but its not that. Mist that covered me, past and pain. Idiots, I say to myself. They released me, but I know deep inside that even if I am freed, the soul contain within won't be freed until the end. Taking a deep breath, Kenneth had already knew his fate, a road of emptiness. Shutting his eyes tight, he could recalculate all the shadows that covered his soul, like the weed in a plant. Only to rot away in time.
Kenneth stood between himself and time itself, never will he be able to move on. Glancing at the glass stained window, it was as he was stuck. It has already been ten years, but he looked as if he was still in his teenage years. The pale skin, no hint of experience, but all appearances are different. Appearances have never been a bother to him till now, he still looked as young as ever. His beauty never reflected more then a speck of tears, but as if his mother was still here. If time was stuck, he would be here. Time froze, how long will it awaken? When will he fade? It made him question. Placing his finger on the window, he felt the piercing frost wind touch his finger. Indeed the winter has arrive, which brought upon a new year coming. New year, huh? What did it matter, he was still here.
Home, where is home? Mother and father isn't here. So where is a place, I can call home? Its empty, the scars was all that remain in this house. No one supported a place called home, but oneself. Scary, how am I suppose to live in a place where home is gone with only scars to bring a burden? I am no god, I am not a monster, neither am I human. I guess it true, I'm just a burden to this world. I already lost it, human emotions just will fade just in time. I'm waiting, but it as if I've jut begun. This maddening silence can only make people useless. To live forever, huh? I'm just that of sickening, fear of death. It is all natural, but for me to become a thing, I guess that what you would call this life? No, life is being with the ones you love, but I'm stuck here. Stuck in the past, while I have a million chances of doing something else. Laugh, because I'm sick of it.
Taking a deep breath, maybe I just need a time out. Glancing around, this place held memories. Memories of mother and I, but this is just the lines. This is the proof, I'm alive and she is dead. I can never reach these boundaries again. Taking a step, just to clear my head thoughts. Each step was heavier then expect, each step was just a stab in the heart. I guess all that remain was just an old house. Every step is a step to reality, mother is gone. Kenneth glanced out the window, there was freedom, yet at the same time. Chains tied him here. Walking out the door, meant leaving home. Was it safe? Was it dangerous, but he was still here. Stepping out of his mother's grasp, he was out. Chains became freed, yet his memories won't fade. He was still here though, as if only there mere soul has still been captivated to this earth, bounded with life.
City, a place filled with life, and here I'm just somebody roaming around. Food, water? It was already gone. The hunger faded with pain, and thirst only led to bloodshed. I'm waiting, the cold city streets had never been so empty. Empty by hearts, no one cares about each other. Bumping, doesn't need a sorry. Yet, Kenneth find himself knowingly that this was his fate. If mother had saw him now, he would definitely been off the cold city sidewalks. Mother, can't find me anymore. Neither can she hold me anymore, neither can I escape reality. Looking around, I could see couples cuddling, and people talking. Here I am, with just my hands and yet nothing to do. Bored? Not really, it as if there a whole new life to the city, but the truth is I am here. With no chance or hope, I need a warm hand to extend to me. Yes, god had already given me a choice. Just to live on with memories.
As I gaze, there is no love in the city. I can open my heart to everyone, but no one would truly take a second glance at me. Looking around, winter filled the place. Shops with countless entering, and dazzling eyes glance everywhere. Only will it rain, will this place be cleared. Sitting on the floor, hadn't changed me. My soul still there. I can go anywhere, but here I am in the city of lights and business. Shutting my eyes tight, I can open them with a tint of a smile. Mother, I'm happy. You gave me a chance to go anywhere and everywhere. Yet, you gave me chains that bound me to death. As I sit there, I can see. There a chance out there, hands can reach out there to me. Glancing, one out of a million. Hands extend to grab me out of my misery, to only await communication. That is where my story begins, Mother thank you.
© 2011 Carmen
Added on December 9, 2011
Last Updated on December 10, 2011
When God Creations Turn Out The Opposite
AboutHello! My Name Is Carmen. I Am A Big Fan Or Writing And Reading Online. I Have No Interest In Competing Though. I Want To Become A Better Writer, Basically This Account Is To Increase My Skills. more..