The Remake Of The Whole StoryA Chapter by Carmen
Blood had stained my
hands centuries ago, this abandoned rotten place. It is not one's heart to
break easily, but if one must snap he must change with the tides. Along with
the blood and stench, he bares the changes of life.
Pale white check, had never bared their skin deep. Eyes have never been covered with a shadowy outline. My name is no other then Ethan. Shall I abandoned this name with a new beginning, but under this name hides the deep shadows of luck under it. The name that mother gave me perhaps. With this luck will the bloodshed begin again? No, I tell myself. As if one could understand, the mist that burns the heat off your lung flares. These pathways has never changed, they all lead the same way. Still as if it was yesterday, I could remember where mother would greet me, but she isn't here. The humid air that surround me, has urge me to trace my steps back there, but the use are zero. Mother's love, was a god blessing, but yet I can't reach there anymore. It’s been a while, I want to reach your doorstep, mother. Yet, the only one who can forgive me is you, and I am the one who lost you, mother will you be the one who doesn't forgive me this time? Where is home, when it is without you?
Walking into the door of memories, halls of a family, I can imagine a younger version of myself soaking into your arms, embracing you as if you were the only thing I have. Father, where is he? Long gone, but my mind just played tricks on me when I was young. What did mother do? To tell a tainted lie in my head, I was clueless only to embrace ones love. I was ruined, I didn't recognized what I had, but she will forgive me, right? I am her child; she loves me, doesn't she? Yes, I tell myself. Still as if it was yesterday, I sit near the fire place, setting it upon I can feel the heat arising. Still dusty, it hadn't changed. Only pain could be seen through the wood, pure hearts being tore apart. It hadn't changed, mother. Tears don't stain my checks, but the fire that burnt her memories of torture to me. I want to get away, but I know she would always be with me in my heart, even to taunt me. My hands are tainted still with blood that can't be washed, but tainted to the mere soul. Mother, I can feel her warmth, but she is no longer here. "Mother," The fire that danced around with a blazed light, as my voice creeks just to whisper names. Warmth, carry throughout the wood.
Taking a step backwards, the woods blazed with heat. Knowing that, mother warmth would be carried here, I waited. Poking on to the fire aimlessly, it set a trail of memories when we would all gather around here. The air thickens, barely breathable, my mind fazed with memories, even as the wooden stick had nearly been burnt. Inhaling became difficult, my body stiffens to the scent, but I wouldn’t dare to move. Would I choose to die or would I choose to move on? With a deep breath, I let the ties cut between us, it was just a matter of time till it gets to me. When the fire reached the ceiling, I left it unattended. It was like flipping a coin, either god will give me a choice to live or either I will befall the fate that I deserve. Mother, I’m sure by bestowing you this death, knowing I solely, belong to you. I love you, mom.
Moments passed, as I noticed my eyes shutting tight, but in the dark fog there would be no one there. The chances of saving a hopeless one like me would be less than rare, but all I could do is sit and pray as sparks hit against my pale skin, causing everlasting marks. Tainting my own body, I had no hope. This is my gift to you, mother. The fire encircles me as it is ready to devour me from every side. Trembling, I know this was the reason I came back here, to die with mother’s memories engraved to death with me. Put my head on a stick, just to be with you, mother. Maybe we are going to meet in the next world, or maybe not. Taking a deep breath, my mind hazed as the fumes grew. “Mother, I hope to see you soon,” the boy smiled, as his mind shut down from the fumes, collapsing to the floor as if he was nothing more than a domino.
Watching the sun barely above me, my eyes paused; confused my mind, but I could only stare endlessly at the horizon. Was I dead? To my reply, a man had taken a seat next to me. I look up, as his eyes watched me, the man just touched his hat and pulled it down. “Hey,” he said, knowing I was awake with my mind cleared. Eyes just turned to gaze at him, yet I could barely mutter a word. “Be grateful,” he said to me, as I just lowered my eyes. I just stared back at the horizon, mother you have forgiven me. “Yeah, thanks.” My eyes watch the older man; he was most likely my savior. He just snickered, but all he did was leave the next moment. Taking a deep breath, frustration took me to a whole new level, but mother has already shown me. Eyes begin to wet, but my lips held a smile on it. Embracing myself, I probably looked like a mad man, but if you thought about it. I’m enlighten, when death strike I think I will be prepared.
© 2012 Carmen
Added on May 10, 2012
Last Updated on May 10, 2012
When God Creations Turn Out The Opposite
AboutHello! My Name Is Carmen. I Am A Big Fan Or Writing And Reading Online. I Have No Interest In Competing Though. I Want To Become A Better Writer, Basically This Account Is To Increase My Skills. more..