Desired: Edited by YumnaKay

Desired: Edited by YumnaKay

A Chapter by Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse
"

Just a little more vigorous

"
The hands of ink 
that spill no shame 
a name ... to claim.

And though the storms 
roar deep inside, 
I lose my aim.

When in the midst 
of bulbs so bright,
A silhouette grows long.

And though I know 
I shouldn't sin 
... I trade right ~ for wrong.

Oh, what doeth I, 
with such hands 
that spill out blue?

Of all the juices 
spilling from your lips, 
I sipped them too -- 

For, hunger starves;
the heart inside
I cant hold out.

And when you 
reach in closer still ...
I'm sure you'll shout.

The passionate battle 
cries ---
to the drums inside

You should have known, 
from my desires ~
your body cant hide.



© 2017 Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse


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Reviews

I've always loved the way Yumna pieces her poetry together, had her do a couple of mine too, great piece and loved the way she did this!

Posted 6 Years Ago


YOU GUYS!!!!!!!! This is really good. I really liked whoevers idea was to make the "ink" faded. So well written! There's so much hidden sexual tension in this..(and I think that sort of thing can be turned into art such as this.)
I love it!!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Juices spilling and wrongs being right... The hands of ink are a juicy gong to drum... Desires hidden, or in plain sight... A passionate write, with an edit that both leaves the original uncompromised, and highlights the depths of desire penned with an artistic flair... Bravo to both...

Posted 6 Years Ago


Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse

6 Years Ago

It seems I came across your edition by Yumna and loved how it unfolded, so I thought that a shot of .. read more
Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

A string? Hah, I am not sure I follow on that one... But yes, Yumna gives a great shot of editing sn.. read more
This was definitely interesting for me to edit and I'm happy to see the innovations with the font colours you made in this which makes it a very nice read in my eyes :)
I agree with TJ about the arrogance part ;) seems like you're too sure of yourself haha :p


Posted 6 Years Ago


Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse

6 Years Ago

Thank you for editing this Yumna, you are always willing to take on new leaps
Dr. YumnaKay

6 Years Ago

Of course! Always :) welcome 😊
It can be hard to focus sometimes. Distractions and even the fog of life can reduce the light in the lens to a mere speck. It's then that we appreciate every spiritual photon.
There is an aspect of regretful arrogance to the ending. Almost as if the speaker can't help themselves.
Very interesting write Drift.
Thanks to Yumna for the RR

Posted 6 Years Ago


Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse

6 Years Ago

Much Appreciation, thank you sir, your always intriguing with comments

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Added on July 7, 2017
Last Updated on July 31, 2017


Author

Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse
Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse

Worcester, MA



About
My writing is strongly based on science, culture, myths and fantasy. I do enjoy poem writing but short stories are my passion, I am developing a few novels as well. I am looking for any critique that .. more..

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