Voices

Voices

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

Rewritten.

"
The cold wind will blow;  
but the memories never go,
 
away to the land where 
none can be felt or heard ...

sitting here, I can hear the voices, 
calling my name in the wind - that blows. 

Neither feeling nor hearing, 
here I am; 

waiting for someone to show 
the grief --- within.



© 2017 Dr. YumnaKay



Author's Note

Dr. YumnaKay
This is the first ever poem of my life ;)

My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Featured Review

But a good one because of its sincerity. The words are simple but on point, the images behind them vivid. There's a sharpness in the ache which emanates from your words. The cold of wind adds to the atmosphere, grayish as the grief within.

One thing I'd like to suggest: I think it'd read better if you used will instead of would or just the usual present tense.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Months Ago

Thank you, Vanessa. I appreciate your words on this one.
About the suggestion, I think you'r.. read more
Closed

7 Months Ago

I do 😊 You're welcome then.



Reviews

Well, for your very first poem ever, it looks like you had a beautiful art ever since

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Months Ago

Thank you for recognizing this art, Sire :))
But a good one because of its sincerity. The words are simple but on point, the images behind them vivid. There's a sharpness in the ache which emanates from your words. The cold of wind adds to the atmosphere, grayish as the grief within.

One thing I'd like to suggest: I think it'd read better if you used will instead of would or just the usual present tense.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Months Ago

Thank you, Vanessa. I appreciate your words on this one.
About the suggestion, I think you'r.. read more
Closed

7 Months Ago

I do 😊 You're welcome then.
I actually like this one, I remember my first poem, it was truly awful lol! But this one isn't, it was very nicely done :)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Months Ago

Thank you, Kesha! Probably the truest ever I've written haha 😛
I'm glad you liked it 😊
Kesha

7 Months Ago

You are welcome :)
sublime that scenic beauty of a vast stretch of scarcely vegetative land. glowing in the dim moonlight envisioned the silence. was really touching.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

8 Months Ago

Thank you! I'm glad it touched you 😊
Yumna,
It may well be your first, but most definitely not your worst.
Formed and wrapped in its poignant depths shines forth a person of great vision and feeling … effulgent exemplification to the fine and revered poetess you'll come to be, the artist we all admire and enjoy.
Who could help sighing from such as,
"Sitting here I can hear the voices calling
My name in the wind that blows
Neither feeling nor hearing …"
My gosh, Yumna, this whole piece is not only soul-gripping, it speaks in full, rich poetic voice … a harbinger of that which will flow from your gifted pen.

My warmest, most grateful hug of sincere thanks, for sharing You! ⁓ Richard

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

9 Months Ago

You're much too kind, dear Sir!

I find myself content that under the wings of writer.. read more
Richard

9 Months Ago

it is You whom inspire my gracious comments, Yumna, and anytime you may so wish it, I am always read.. read more
Well done, Yk. This comes across with just the right amount of mystery to get one thinking. Pretty good for a first write. Good job.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Thank you Ted! I'm glad you liked my first attempt 😊
One of your best poems, Yumna :)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Hey, thanks Gullia! Compliment indeed for me! ☺
Best stanzas here:

Sitting here I can hear the voices calling
My name in the wind that blows
Neither feeling nor hearing here I am
Waiting for someone to show
The grief within_

I Like this one.. your work is evolving... your flow..your sense of rhythym is gaining strength and the work is getting deeper... good work..
...Misty

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

M. L. F.

11 Months Ago

Lolll... funny. THIS one is nice... so.are the others but this one is great. :)
Dr. YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Well thanks again! Try not to compliment me too much coz it gets to the head 😉
Maybe that.. read more
M. L. F.

11 Months Ago

Lolol... ok! ;)
Very true, simply written but made me pause for awhile and made me think. :) Yumna

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Err think what? 😂
Thank you, Ricco! Means alot 😊
YanZeros

11 Months Ago

You're welcome! I mean the scenery your words painted.
Dr. YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Ohh right 😊
cold winds blow
But memories never go
Away to the land where none is felt or heard_
Sitting here I hear the voices call
My name in the wind
Neither feeling nor hearing here I am
Waiting for someone to show
The grief within_

Expression as it is. Minor changes to make the flow better. It's a beautiful write as such.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Thank you, Queen! I think everyone is deep down... I'm humbled by your remarks 😊
Deeeeeply Abused

11 Months Ago

So true... blessings your way
Dr. YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

😊💜......

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

561 Views
14 Reviews
Rating
Added on October 22, 2016
Last Updated on October 23, 2017


Author

Dr. YumnaKay
Dr. YumnaKay

Karachi, Sindh, Pakistan



About
~ In search of a new me ~ more..

Writing
(in)sanity (in)sanity

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay


Tenterhooks Tenterhooks

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Twelve Shoes Twelve Shoes

A Poem by Gee


64 64

A Poem by Lydia