Voices

Voices

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

Rewritten.

"
The cold wind will blow;  
but the memories never go,
 
away to the land where 
none can be felt or heard...

sitting here, I can hear the voices calling 
my name in the wind - that blows. 

Neither feeling nor hearing, 
here I am; 

waiting for someone to show 
the grief --- within.



© 2017 Dr. YumnaKay



Author's Note

Dr. YumnaKay
This is the first ever poem of my life ;)

My Review

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Featured Review

But a good one because of its sincerity. The words are simple but on point, the images behind them vivid. There's a sharpness in the ache which emanates from your words. The cold of wind adds to the atmosphere, grayish as the grief within.

One thing I'd like to suggest: I think it'd read better if you used will instead of would or just the usual present tense.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Thank you, Vanessa. I appreciate your words on this one.
About the suggestion, I think you'r.. read more
Closed

6 Months Ago

I do 😊 You're welcome then.



Reviews

A really nice piece of work. It's quite simple but really expressive. Good job. I loved it and I'm looking forward in seeing more of your works. Just one thing, include more punctuation.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Thank you! I really appreciate the advice. Will definitely improve as time passes.
Nice of y.. read more
Carrot Monster

11 Months Ago

The pleasure was mine.
Another nicely expressed piece. Grief is a mystery really, unique to each individual, experiences are what enrich us. Some poignant questioning thoughts here. Well done. R xo

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Though the grief is unique, yet every one can relate. I just wish we could learn from the experience.. read more
Honest, real emotion and good wish and ending to the poetry. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Thank you Coyote for liking! I think what comes direct from the heart can be better understood.
Coyote Poetry

11 Months Ago

I agree and you are welcome.
A rather melancholy piece that longs for understanding of grief and the reasons...


This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

12 Months Ago

Some things are best unsaid. But I know what you mean. These are just random thoughts which came up .. read more
Ana Papaya

12 Months Ago

It's good, I liked it. We interpret things in a way that relates to us, as readers.
It's goo.. read more
Dr. YumnaKay

12 Months Ago

Thank you ☺ but there is definitely room for improvement.

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14 Reviews
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Added on October 22, 2016
Last Updated on August 17, 2017


Author

Dr. YumnaKay
Dr. YumnaKay

Karachi, Sindh, Pakistan



About
My writings reflect what I am, have been, and what I seek to be. Most of it is just ramblings in prose but occasionally I'll come up with poetry (if mood be). ~ We are not the same person we were .. more..

Writing
Stranger Stranger

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay



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