Love Isn't A Game

Love Isn't A Game

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

In collaboration with YanZeros...

"
Tiles cracking, the concrete surface in mild dew,
storms raging, my mind blowing, having no clue!
Your words fit perfectly; astonished ... in awe!
My life was a mess 'til you came, out of the blue.

I feel that I can easily be honest,  
you are the one I love, don't be astonished! 
My lone cracked heart has now started to be healed.
I know, baby, from me nothing is left concealed.

Please accept it you really are beautiful. 
If I do, will you accept, for each other, we are suitable?
But your month's in July while I'm December... 
sigh... that rising passion in dying ember.

I do care for you, why are you not afraid?
Oh cruel, cruel man, it’s my heart you invade!
I surrender with no question; love isn't a game...
'twas, but now it ignited like a flame.

Burn my soul, drive me away closer to you. 
I'm already here, awaiting your touch, beside you.
Been like counting billion night stars waiting for you; 
now I can spend an eternity just looking ... at you.



© 2017 Dr. YumnaKay



Author's Note

Dr. YumnaKay
A poem with lines alternating first by YanZeros and then by me.
Edited slightly...

My Review

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Featured Review

I love this collaboration. There are some basic "love" concepts that can be found in many love poems ("you are really beautiful"), but the combination of all your combined thoughts elevates the message overall. I'm pleasantly surprised at the excellent rhyming despite two differing points of view. I love this intriguing part -- last two lines of 3rd stanza. These are the complexities of the love game that are anything other than (NOT) sophomoric (as one juvenile reviewer suggests). Good job putting that guy's finger where it belongs! *wink! wink!* The best part of this is the dance between the two of you writers -- it's not easy to collaborate like this & end up with a cohesive message! (((HUGS)))

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Thank you so much BG, for appreciating our efforts! You don't know how much I needed these words at .. read more



Reviews

Methinks this might have been where honeyed glue melded two beautiful minds. Lovely poetry, poetry of love.. collaboration more than fine.

'.. love isn't a game... ' ( whilst spoken by one person, the entire poem is of Love, by Love; thus, no preference for a single voice selected!

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

3 Months Ago

Thank you for your lovely words on this collab, Emma! Glad you like it (:
emmajoy

3 Months Ago

Had a wonderful time reading your collaborations, a a true picnic! Must away.. x
i would have it all one color font...then it is more of a unified piece...two voices as one...i do like it...and especially the line "Burn my soul, drive me away closer to you"

j.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Dr. YumnaKay

3 Months Ago

Hm I think you're right about that. I'll change it... thank you for liking this collab, Jacob. :)
Beautiful alternation between Yan Zeros and yourself. The last stanza being my favorite. Well done!!!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

10 Months Ago

Thank you so much, Silmara! This piece is very close to my heart! I'm glad you liked it! Thank you f.. read more
So well entwined, the words are a journey of love, the voices also has a lyrical tone that passionately winds through the readers heart! A wondrous poem to ponder!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Thank you, Michael for appreciating our efforts! It means alot 😊
I love this collaboration. There are some basic "love" concepts that can be found in many love poems ("you are really beautiful"), but the combination of all your combined thoughts elevates the message overall. I'm pleasantly surprised at the excellent rhyming despite two differing points of view. I love this intriguing part -- last two lines of 3rd stanza. These are the complexities of the love game that are anything other than (NOT) sophomoric (as one juvenile reviewer suggests). Good job putting that guy's finger where it belongs! *wink! wink!* The best part of this is the dance between the two of you writers -- it's not easy to collaborate like this & end up with a cohesive message! (((HUGS)))

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Thank you so much BG, for appreciating our efforts! You don't know how much I needed these words at .. read more
Well done. Alternating lines as you both did produced a wonderful love story. The collaboration was seamless. Peter Straub and Steven King did the same in The Talisman, it worked as well. :) Good write

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Woah! That's a huge comparison, Ted!! We have a long way to go so as to come at that level.. But tha.. read more
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Lovely, really smooth cohesive flow. Some brilliant lines. Had you not mentioned it I wouldn't have known it was a collab. Great job you two. Starz x

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Months Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Thank you for appreciating our efforts, Starzy ☺
...

11 Months Ago

You're very welcome x
YanZeros

11 Months Ago

Thank you Starzy :)
This is not a collab ! No way !! - that's the best compliment I can pay you guys - seamless !
Some partnerships just work.
This one works - I expect to see more of this first class poetry from Yan-Kay.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Lol.. I appreciate your sense of humour 😂
Tony Jordan

11 Months Ago

ditto YumnaKay :D
YanZeros

11 Months Ago

Thank you Tony Jordan! :)
It isn't a game, it is an adventure just waiting to begin, and it all starts with that look that never ends. Great collab, feels smooth when the writers change and take turns at alternate lines, would have been hard to tell it was a collab without you saying, so great job guys :)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Lorry.

11 Months Ago

A pleasure :)
YanZeros

11 Months Ago

Thank you Nemo... :)
Lorry.

11 Months Ago

And you are very welcome too. Like the colour changes btw :)

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Added on December 12, 2016
Last Updated on August 7, 2017


Author

Dr. YumnaKay
Dr. YumnaKay

Karachi, Sindh, Pakistan



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