Shield

Shield

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

Ramblings of a raging mind...

"
I shield my heart 
in the hopes that when the time comes 
I'll find the true purpose. 
I stray away from people, 
denying myself the simple act 
of being happy for once. 
Walking away from you. 
Because I don't have the courage to tell you 
that I've stopped feeling, caring 
or even thinking about you. 


I shield my mind 
from the raging thoughts that keep creeping up, 
telling me to face my fears. 
Those fears that keep me awake, 
late at night. 
That fear of falling in love with you. 
That fear of being hurt 
if it doesn't work that way. 
Because I don't have the courage to tell you 
that if even for one second, 
I did see our future together.


I shield myself 
away from you in the hopes 
that it's all for the greater good. 
The only courage I have is to tell you, 
that I'm bored. Bored of you. 
And although it makes me cruel 
in your eyes, 
it's better that way 
than to have myself heart broken. 



© 2017 Dr. YumnaKay



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Featured Review

We know every word from one's pen must first reside in the mind, even if it might express pure fiction, but in having read this piece, it is my sense that much of the author is revealed in your prose-laden commentary, Yumna, as I feel it is actually reflective of your own experience … for me, it's just to genuine feeling not to be.
And, for me in perceiving you, this makes it even sadder to dwell on such hurt and fear of affection and commitment; but, it's completely relatable, too, as it could well have flowed from my own pen, albeit not as clearly direct and passionately expressed.
Your grammar, syntax, line breaks, powerfully expressive word choices, and punctuation are pristine in form and ease of read, flowing seamlessly within each verse, connecting reader and poem beautifully.

Though, filled to the brim with pain, doubt, unrequited need, and fear … I thoroughly admire, respect, and enjoyed reading this excellent piece, Yumna … thank you sincerely! ⁓ Richard : )

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

8 Months Ago

It's all your fault I'm so smitten … LOL!
Dr. YumnaKay

8 Months Ago

Hahah I don't feel guilty at all 😂😂😉
Richard

8 Months Ago

Me either! 😜



Reviews

Oh but even a shield can sometimes seem too heavy to hold up, perhaps you will see that someone else can provide protection

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Dr. YumnaKay

7 Months Ago

Interesting thought. I like that 😊
Pain the cousin to love extracts pure poetry from our souls and rerouted through mind to hand unveils and brings further existence to it (pain/love). As here in your verses it as an entity can burrow itself into another such as me (the reader) through my eyes, to mind then heart. This is where your words live on. And I and others wait for more.

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

8 Months Ago

I totally agree with you! Couldn't have said it better myself. Love and pain go synonymous.
.. read more
Michael G. Smith

8 Months Ago

That's what us poet brothers are here for, your welcome.
We know every word from one's pen must first reside in the mind, even if it might express pure fiction, but in having read this piece, it is my sense that much of the author is revealed in your prose-laden commentary, Yumna, as I feel it is actually reflective of your own experience … for me, it's just to genuine feeling not to be.
And, for me in perceiving you, this makes it even sadder to dwell on such hurt and fear of affection and commitment; but, it's completely relatable, too, as it could well have flowed from my own pen, albeit not as clearly direct and passionately expressed.
Your grammar, syntax, line breaks, powerfully expressive word choices, and punctuation are pristine in form and ease of read, flowing seamlessly within each verse, connecting reader and poem beautifully.

Though, filled to the brim with pain, doubt, unrequited need, and fear … I thoroughly admire, respect, and enjoyed reading this excellent piece, Yumna … thank you sincerely! ⁓ Richard : )

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

8 Months Ago

It's all your fault I'm so smitten … LOL!
Dr. YumnaKay

8 Months Ago

Hahah I don't feel guilty at all 😂😂😉
Richard

8 Months Ago

Me either! 😜
Omg Yumna, is this poem about me? I can relate to every single line. So weird how much alike we are. I put a shield too. I guess people do that because they don't want someone to break their heart.
"I stray away from people,
denying myself the simple act
of being happy for once." Favorite lines! Great job on this one, dear friend

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

8 Months Ago

No it's not weird 😉 it's a common occurring 😛
This really was about me. I think it's b.. read more
Nice! We should shield ourselves! True :) I.I.

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

8 Months Ago

Indeed we should. Thank you 😊
Isabella Ivy

8 Months Ago

You're most welcome! :)
This is in the same lines as my "poetry flows". But on a different note. Yumna, get your heart broken...fall and see yourself raising like the phoenix. I love this writing though. First step is always to feel whatever you are being given to feel. I think that you can put this writing in a poem format with minor changes...just my humble opinion.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

9 Months Ago

I went to your profile to check 'poetry flows' and I agree there's a similarity between the two..read more
Deeeeeply Abused

9 Months Ago

Recovery is not smooth, check my beast with the bottle....Catch you tomorrow:)
Dr. YumnaKay

9 Months Ago

I read that already.. have been forming my mind for a review ;)
Powerful! Gives me the vibe which describes how life can be when dealing with relationships. Great work!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

9 Months Ago

Exactly! Thank you so much! I'm glad you understood the underlying emotions here. 😊
Mmmmm sometimes it's the most difficult decision to take....but if we ca. Find the courage to do it then we are saved for sometime at least :)
Enjoyed reading it yumna...good one

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

9 Months Ago

Yes, I completely agree.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here, Ria! I'm glad you liked i.. read more
A shield of denial can only remain a veneer of protection for a short time. Enviably the realisation a relationship has ended will break through this flimsy barrier and we are confronted with home truths. Your composition summaries, in a wonderfully expressive write, the matter I have just outlined. Good write …

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

9 Months Ago

Sometimes this flimsy barrier is what keeps us falling apart...
Thank you for your thoughtful.. read more
I was in a similar situation when I was younger, it seems cruel but you just have to be honest with them. This piece was so raw and honest, I loved how you portrayed your feelings in this one.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

9 Months Ago

Sometimes, we've got to do things which make us sound cruel although we don't mean it..
Thank.. read more
Kesha

9 Months Ago

Yes, exactly. And you are very welcome :)

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Added on February 25, 2017
Last Updated on August 7, 2017


Author

Dr. YumnaKay
Dr. YumnaKay

Karachi, Sindh, Pakistan



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