Eclipse

Eclipse

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

Primetime: An original form, created by Charlyne “Char” Zurick © 06/24/2010

"





Eclipse

This moment and forever,
hopes buried of together;
of ocean tides washing sand, 'neath our feet.

Away with wondrous semblance 
of all thy sweet remembrance;
those starry nights filled with our mingled heat.

Every bit I shall forget,
‘tis hard, I must now admit…
when my lonely hand strays beneath the sheet.

Those wint'ry days…coffee sips,
lives o’ershadowed by eclipse;
our love, I'm afraid, remains incomplete...







© 2017 Dr. YumnaKay



Author's Note

Dr. YumnaKay
A new form which Richard taught me as my learning experience continues 😊

My Review

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Featured Review

While I'm not familiar with this form, your rhyme & rhythm feels natural & well-structured. It seems like this message blends the styles of a more formal Elizabethan language mixed with a more casual everyday imagery. Good job for a learning experience!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you for this nice review over my little piece, BG. Truly appreciate your liking 😊



Reviews

I love it. This one of those amazing poems that I would always love to read again and again. You nailed it darling! :) The love is truly in the air though the words sounds in despair. Keep writing. :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much, C! I'm glad you felt this write :)
And I agree, love remains although peop.. read more
Your writing fluently presents the feeling of missing someone. A very strong write, I am left curious and not quite sure how to articulate my interpretation of it though I sure did feel it.


Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you, MP! I think it was a mixed feeling with which I wrote this..
I appreciate your wor.. read more
It's a beauty, go on with your practise, churn it well, .....I enjoyed reading...:)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you, Surya! I'm glad you liked it! I hope to do that 😊😊
You are turning out to be more and more wondrous poet...nice form of poetry....keep learning and sharing let your creative juices overflow :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much, Ria, for the appreciation! It truly means a lot! I'm beginning to quite like what.. read more
Beautiful! I enjoyed your poem so much! :D
Work hard!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you, Abel! I'm glad you liked it! And I will lol 😛😉
Nicely done! I truly enjoyed reading this poem! Keep up the great work! :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you! I appreciate your kind words 😊

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Added on March 14, 2017
Last Updated on November 6, 2017


Author

Dr. YumnaKay
Dr. YumnaKay

Pakistan



About
Just someone trying to blend in with the writing world and still trying to hold my own. P.S I do not respond to read requests unless they particularly appeal to me in some way, neith.. more..

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