Eclipse

Eclipse

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

Primetime: An original form, created by Charlyne “Char” Zurick © 06/24/2010

"





Eclipse

This moment and forever,
hopes buried of together;
of ocean tides washing sand, 'neath our feet.

Away with wondrous semblance 
of all thy sweet remembrance;
those starry nights filled with our mingled heat.

Every bit I shall forget,
‘tis hard, I must now admit…
when my lonely hand strays beneath the sheet.

Those wint'ry days…coffee sips,
lives o’ershadowed by eclipse;
our love, I'm afraid, remains incomplete...







© 2017 Dr. YumnaKay



Author's Note

Dr. YumnaKay
A new form which Richard taught me as my learning experience continues 😊

My Review

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Featured Review

While I'm not familiar with this form, your rhyme & rhythm feels natural & well-structured. It seems like this message blends the styles of a more formal Elizabethan language mixed with a more casual everyday imagery. Good job for a learning experience!

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Months Ago

Thank you for this nice review over my little piece, BG. Truly appreciate your liking 😊



Reviews

I love it. This one of those amazing poems that I would always love to read again and again. You nailed it darling! :) The love is truly in the air though the words sounds in despair. Keep writing. :)

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

9 Months Ago

Thank you so much, C! I'm glad you felt this write :)
And I agree, love remains although peop.. read more
Your writing fluently presents the feeling of missing someone. A very strong write, I am left curious and not quite sure how to articulate my interpretation of it though I sure did feel it.


Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

9 Months Ago

Thank you, MP! I think it was a mixed feeling with which I wrote this..
I appreciate your wor.. read more
It's a beauty, go on with your practise, churn it well, .....I enjoyed reading...:)

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

9 Months Ago

Thank you, Surya! I'm glad you liked it! I hope to do that 😊😊
You are turning out to be more and more wondrous poet...nice form of poetry....keep learning and sharing let your creative juices overflow :)

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

9 Months Ago

Thank you so much, Ria, for the appreciation! It truly means a lot! I'm beginning to quite like what.. read more
Beautiful! I enjoyed your poem so much! :D
Work hard!

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

9 Months Ago

Thank you, Abel! I'm glad you liked it! And I will lol 😛😉
Nicely done! I truly enjoyed reading this poem! Keep up the great work! :)

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

9 Months Ago

Thank you! I appreciate your kind words 😊

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Added on March 14, 2017
Last Updated on November 6, 2017


Author

Dr. YumnaKay
Dr. YumnaKay

Karachi, Sindh, Pakistan



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