In His Eyes I Gazed ~ and Drowned

In His Eyes I Gazed ~ and Drowned

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

Composed in Villanelle form

"




In His Eyes I Gazed ~ and Drowned...

'Pon a voice heard, I turned to merry sound,
like tingling waves caressing 'gainst my shore.
In his eyes I gazed ~ and right away drowned!

So lost before, I wanted to be found;
to feel his touch within my very core;
'pon a voice heard, I turned to merry sound.

Whispers in the wind, swept me off the ground;
and when I looked down, no fear anymore;
in his eyes I gazed ~ and right away drowned!

Towards his melody; then I was bound.
Higher and higher I let my heart soar.
'Pon a voice heard, I turned to merry sound,

Oh, what sweet dreams, just to have him around!
To fulfill those delights of moments before.
In his eyes I gazed ~ and right away drowned!

With his soft music, my heart he'll surround,
as there's no one more than him I adore!
'Pon a voice heard, I turned to merry sound.
In his eyes I gazed ~ and right away drowned!



© 2017 Dr. YumnaKay



Author's Note

Dr. YumnaKay
~~ Another one of my learning experiences with Richard ~~ 😊

My Review

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Featured Review

Wow....is it permitted for me to cry? For this doth truly make me weep! It's gorgeous, Yumna. It's happy, emotional and so true. We've all felt these feeling at some point. Anyone who reads this and doesn't feel their heart heat is surely bereft of a soul.
I loved it! (I'm also a little jealous of your skill with words) ;) :)

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Months Ago

Well, I didn't know someone could cry over this but probably allowable 😉
Thank you so muc.. read more



Reviews

well learned and thanks for this wonderful talent.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Month Ago

Thank you too for appreciating this effort 😊😊
I almost cried when reading this. Exceptional writing.

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Thank you, Tamara. Truly appreciate your words here :)
A heartfelt write that shares dreams and a chained heart. Much emotion to share a tale of longing and a spent soul. Your words let us relive a time in our own lives when we were "all in" in giving our heart to another. Thank you for your honest write.
Richie b.

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Thank you for your thoughts on this piece and for liking, Richieb. Truly appreciate it 😊
I'm not a big fan of repeating lines just for the sake of poetic form, so I usually don't like villanelles. In this case, however, your repeated lines do not draw attention & feel like a natural flow of the storyline, so the repetition is not distracting like so many villanelles can be. I love the title which is imaginative & fits well into the repeated lines. Good job with this form!

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Months Ago

I'm really glad you liked this one despite your not liking the villanelle form in general.
Th.. read more
Forms can be difficult as they can be so rigid in structure that the content suffers. However, your content is lovely, the form is wonderful and the flow of your words are divine. You nailed this one. Beautiful writing! :) Julie

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Months Ago

Thank you. That's a great compliment for me. I agree, forms aren't easy to manage.. Glad you liked t.. read more
Oh my, I really hope you can swim, drowning sounds so, tempting. Im sure he would know just what to say.

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Months Ago

In the rare event that this does happen, I hope so too 😛
Wow....is it permitted for me to cry? For this doth truly make me weep! It's gorgeous, Yumna. It's happy, emotional and so true. We've all felt these feeling at some point. Anyone who reads this and doesn't feel their heart heat is surely bereft of a soul.
I loved it! (I'm also a little jealous of your skill with words) ;) :)

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Months Ago

Well, I didn't know someone could cry over this but probably allowable 😉
Thank you so muc.. read more
Wondrously executed! Villanelle poems are so much fun to read and write! This is certainly no exception! Bravo!

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

8 Months Ago

Yes, it is fun indeed.. Thank you for liking. I appreciate your words 😊
Nicholas Shea

8 Months Ago

I wrote a Villanelle called "The Unveiling" If you get a chance, I'd love for you to read it!
Tina H.W.

7 Months Ago

Talented AND modest! Seriously, Yumna, you have a gift and I'm glad you're sharing it :)
Oh a.. read more
You really have given yourself over to this poem and it shows in the depth and eloquence that comes surely from the heart's ink drops.
I love Vanilla - 'ell I love all flavors of ice-scream

You can keep this up Yumna - plz.
:)

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

8 Months Ago

Thank you so much, TJ! I'm glad you liked it 😊
You have the knack of breaking my heart by.. read more
LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!!! You are talented girl!!! Love the flow, message, BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! It's perfect! Blew me away!!
Tabby

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

8 Months Ago

Thank you for this amazing review, Tabby! I'm glad it touched you 😊

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Added on March 16, 2017
Last Updated on August 7, 2017


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Dr. YumnaKay
Dr. YumnaKay

Karachi, Sindh, Pakistan



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