In His Eyes I Gazed ~ and Drowned

Composed in Villanelle form

In His Eyes I Gazed ~ and Drowned...

'Pon a voice heard, I turned to merry sound,

like tingling waves caressing 'gainst my shore.

In his eyes I gazed ~ and right away drowned!

So lost before, I wanted to be found;

to feel his touch within my very core;

'pon a voice heard, I turned to merry sound.

Whispers in the wind, swept me off the ground;

and when I looked down, no fear anymore;

in his eyes I gazed ~ and right away drowned!

Towards his melody; then I was bound.

Higher and higher I let my heart soar.

'Pon a voice heard, I turned to merry sound,

Oh, what sweet dreams, just to have him around!

To fulfill those delights of moments before.

In his eyes I gazed ~ and right away drowned!

With his soft music, my heart he'll surround,

as there's no one more than him I adore!

'Pon a voice heard, I turned to merry sound.

In his eyes I gazed ~ and right away drowned!

Author's Note

~~ Another one of my learning experiences with Richard ~~ 😊

Reviews

[Tina H.W.]

Wow....is it permitted for me to cry? For this doth truly make me weep! It's gorgeous, Yumna. It's happy, emotional and so true. We've all felt these feeling at some point. Anyone who reads this and doesn't feel their heart heat is surely bereft of a soul.
I loved it! (I'm also a little jealous of your skill with words) ;) :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Well, I didn't know someone could cry over this but probably allowable 😉
Thank you so much for this awesome review, Tina! I feel I don't deserve such praise..
Oh and did I mention I'm jealous of your story writing skills? 😛 so we're even hahah 😂
Thanks again 😊😊😊😊

[Shaun Gurmin]

This is beautiful, well done Yumna.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you, Shaun! I'm glad you liked it 😊

[Jes' Pi]

You done a very good job, the poem is so sweet.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you, Abel! I'm glad you found it sweet 😊

[B]

It is amazing that feeling one gets
in the presence of a lover
The room is drowning in his love
and so are you
He is the sea

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you for this sweet poetic response, SoloSolace! I appreciate it :)

[Lovecraft]

I love the semi-archaic wording in this poem. :)

A deep and meaningful Love poem that is both tender and sweet, a devotion to a soul mate. A beautiful poem concerning true love and the benefits found therein.

The last line of every stanza is repeated in a wonderful fashion and is an effective method of emotional delivery. ;)

Yet another great Love poem that doesn't resort to cheesy cliches. Superb poem, Yumna! :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I'm glad it didn't sound cheesy to you although to some it did lol
Thank you so much for appreciating, Kevin! I'm glad you liked it 😊😊

[Lovecraft]

It is a tiny bit cheesy but many love poems sound like that to me. For me to really enjoy a love poem means that you certainly have at least a modicum of true talent. ;)

I'd like you to try to write some darker poetry though, maybe even a dark love poem. But as I write dark poetry and enjoy reading dark poetry perhaps I'm a bit biased toward poetry that doesn't have at the very least a hint of darkness to it. Whatever the case, write some dark and/or violent poems if you are able to. ;P

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Ahhh well I'll have to take lessons from you to write dark poetry as it's mainly your area of expertise. I don't know how to write about gory details in poetry 😶
And thank you for the compliment 😊

[Lovecraft]

You don't have to write gory. Just start by writing in a concept that is somewhat dark and make it poetic.
:)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Umm okay.. Will try 😉😊

[Isabella Ivy]

Clapping* Breathtaking and tantalizing read! Encore! Isabella :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much, Isabella! I'm really glad you like my efforts 😊😊

[Isabella Ivy]

From my side of the page, your talent shines!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

That's sweet of you to say 😊😊

[Isabella Ivy]

Very true! Keep up the good work!

[Diamond]

The best part, I loved about this poem is that I did not have to go back to read again. Its like a soft hum with a balance meaning being conveyed. Repetitions made it song like. Enjoyed. :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much, Queen! I enjoyed writing in this form too! I'm glad you liked it 😊😊

[LKBillips]

Beautiful and hypnotizing. Reminded me a bit of Poe and his repetition of nevermore in the Raven. Like a drum beat steady and continuous.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you! That's a huge comparison! I'm glad you liked it 😊

[Giulia King]

This is beautiful! I have nothing to say except it's perfect and one of my favorites :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Woah thank you, Gullia! I'm glad you liked it 😊💜

[Jibey]

I like the idea but the 'pon start to many lines is so kitsch.. and 'merry sound'?!

'Tis quaint, egad. Thou hast been playing with thy quill lol

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Haha that sound is supposed to be merry 😉
I appreciate your words. Thank you, Jibey 😇

[Najam Us Saher]

I loved this. What a sweet and romantic poem. Thank you for sharing.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much, Najam! I'm glad you liked it! 😊😊

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome ☺