Star of My Life

Star of My Life

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

.......

"

Star of My Life

I remember the times we sat up late,
counting the stars scattered over the nightly sky;
and every time you raised your finger asking:
"Mamma, which is the brightest? Isn't it this one?"
You would point; and I, oblivious of the stars,
for my star lives beside me; within me, making me complete,
would point laughingly at you, my son;
touching your nose lightly, I'd say:
"It's right here, for real stars are not found on the sky,
but in the hearts of their ol' mum..."
Shining brighter than ever, you dim everything else, 
as I fill my eyes with your light...
I remember,
I remember everything;
as I fade away but see you grow...
you; the star of my life. 



© 2017 Dr. YumnaKay



Author's Note

Dr. YumnaKay
This is for all the mothers.. though probably not much..

My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Shining brighter than ever, you dim everything else. As I fill my eyes with your light

Wonderfully poetic my friend. Enjoyed this piece, the simplicity of this poem is beautiful, I love when simple words run so deep. Thank you for sharing the beauty of your soul

Poeticme

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much, for enjoying this piece and for the appreciation, Poeticme 😊😊
Poeticme

1 Year Ago

Your very welcome my lady, *smiles*

Dennis



Reviews

'It's right here, for real stars are not found on the sky, ~ but in the hearts of their ol' mum..." ~
Shining brighter than ever, you dim everything else, ~ as I fill my eyes with your light...'

A truly beautiful poem, full of love and light, words finely placed, the best of emotions on display. For a young dentist by profession you have the heart of an ancient goddess.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

emmajoy

1 Year Ago

After so many years in the café, I've learned the rules and obey then,, most of the time!! :)
Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

I don't think it has to with spending so much time in the cafe, but with the fact that you're one co.. read more
emmajoy

1 Year Ago

Smiling, waving a thank you. For me on and offline, good manners and kindness go hand in hand. Howev.. read more
Very beautifully woven words. A Love of mother to his child. Its unconditional, immeasurable. Thanks for sharing. A heart filling poem. Nice!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

True..
Thank you for your kind words of appreciation here, Manasa. I'm glad you liked it :)
Even books aren't enough for mom's but something like your piece works well and true indeed....I loved it..

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much, Surya. That's a nice compliment for me! I'm glad you liked it :)
Surya

1 Year Ago

You are welcome Yumna..:)
This was a beautiful write. Stars are the cause of much wonderment, but you remind us that there is wonderment to be find in the ones around us, particularly in the mothers of the world. Nice work.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

There is indeed..
Thank you for adding your thoughts here and for your nice comments, Camero.. read more
I love poems like this one. Goodly mothers are gifts from God; angels on earth.I miss my mom more than any other thing .

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Indeed they are. I feel blessed to have mine with me 😊
Thank you for liking, Michael. App.. read more
What a lovely and thoughtful homage to Mothers, Yumna … you've touched my olde heart deeply, and I know Ray and Curtis will surely feel blessed, too.
Your word choices, phraseology, and metaphor serve so very well in conveying the sweet beauty of the story, and not a forced or pretentious line or emotion anywhere … one to be proud of.

Simply a gorgeous piece straight from your heart, with such a fitting picture and presentation … kudos! ⁓ Richard : )

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

This was straight from my heart. I rarely feel proud of what I write but this one is what will stay .. read more
Richard

1 Year Ago

Well, Yumna,
We all here know how very special you are; it is one that will stay with me, too.. read more
With the deepest regard and appreciation, thank you. Curtis & Ray xo

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

It was my pleasure to write. Thank you too for encouraging me to write 😊
That's a very kind and lovely dedication. It's filled with love and sincere empathy. I also like the storytelling effect of it very much. A nice writing.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Closed

1 Year Ago

I'm glad she encouraged you. You can do many things and it starts with confidence. I really like it .. read more
Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

True, it is about confidence...
Closed

1 Year Ago

Yes 😊 And you'll get over the time, sometimes a little supports is helpful though. 😉
Wow ... this piece is beautiful ... I don't think there's a better way to describe it. I like how this piece conveys various themes such as the strength of a mother's love, the innocence of a child, the wonder of a night sky, the beauty of simplicity, the curiosity of a child ... you did a great job of blending those nuances together. Also, from a more technical standpoint, I loved your use of punctuation.

One minor critique: The picture doesn't seem genuine to me because of those spirals and squares on it. I think those were put there for copyright purposes. Their inclusion, in my opinion, really hinders the first impression of the piece.

- William Liston

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Hmm I haven't.. Thank you for suggesting. I will surely check it out 😊
William Liston

1 Year Ago

It's titled "On Breaking Grammar Rules In Poetry" or something similar.
Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Okay, will check 😇
Oh, this is just pure and beautiful, Im glad I took the time to read this.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it 😊

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1049 Views
33 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on March 25, 2017
Last Updated on August 7, 2017

Experimental Poetry


Author

Dr. YumnaKay
Dr. YumnaKay

Pakistan



About
I would call myself a writer but I don't feel accomplished or learned enough to consider myself anywhere near as one. I write mainly to clear the weird buzzing in my mind and heart (but I suppose that.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Diary Diary

A Poem by Shuchita


Lying Is A Sin Lying Is A Sin

A Poem by Zoe