Destruction

Destruction

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

Edited version.

"


My eyes vacant, 

my skin 

loosely hanging 

on to my bones;  

 
my mind playing 

that scene 

of the last time 

I let you take over

my soul.  

 
Destroyed, 

shattered;

 
your hypnotic eyes 

~

marked my destruction. 
   

 
My ears 

straining 

to hear 

your melodious voice  

 
that made my heart

 swell with 

unspoken emotions,  


untold, 

broken promises;  

 
your hypnotic eyes


marked my destruction.



© 2017 Dr. YumnaKay



Author's Note

Dr. YumnaKay
Tired of writing sappy romantic stuff 😛

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Featured Review

' .. your hypnotic eyes ~ marked my destruction.'

Whether face or fiction, those repeated phrases stress emotion. It's quite amazing what writers have lurking in the imagination, waiting to come into being.

Yes, indeed, this is a change of style and subject for you. But, tis finely put: dramatic, certainly dark yet - conscientiously phrased. Brava.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Thank you for your appreciation, Emma. I quite agree with you. Imagination is the sole gift which ma.. read more



Reviews

raw and powerful! and holds much truth!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Thank you for your comments, Mary. I appreciate it 😊
FINALLY.
Jesus Christ, God, finally...YOU MADE YUMNA WRITE SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

This is a sad and "brutal" poem, not romantic, not soft, not like the most of your poems. You did the poem very right, you showed anger and sadness, a tragedy in your words. You should write more like that, because you killed me, gurl! ;)
P.S. Sorry for not reviewing the other poems, I was bussy these days, and I randomly clicked on your poem and wanted to review it badly.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Hahah sure I know! But I can't be as brutal as you are, ya know 😉😂😂
Jes' Pi

6 Months Ago

Open the f*cking email because we will fill your review section with boring s*it😂😂
Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Errr what? 😎😎😎
' .. your hypnotic eyes ~ marked my destruction.'

Whether face or fiction, those repeated phrases stress emotion. It's quite amazing what writers have lurking in the imagination, waiting to come into being.

Yes, indeed, this is a change of style and subject for you. But, tis finely put: dramatic, certainly dark yet - conscientiously phrased. Brava.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Thank you for your appreciation, Emma. I quite agree with you. Imagination is the sole gift which ma.. read more
I'm impressed at your improved presentation of this piece, I like the picture and the font, as well as the format. My only major criticism for this piece would be that it seems a bit short for the content of the poem. The content seems like it could use more, it felt incomplete. What is there is good though.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

I accept that piece of criticism. I myself wanted to expand this but failing short of words, I poste.. read more
Michael Iam Bone

6 Months Ago

lol thanks
I really like this poem, it's very creative. The description is the strongest part. I also studied the artist of that painting for art class, they are really interesting, the ideology behind the paintings is that beauty and youth are temporary. It seems quite similar to it's use in your poem.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Thank you for shedding light on the painting. I chose it randomly based on the image in my mind but .. read more
Well, when you say no to sappy romantic stuff you mean it. There could be any number of entities to which this would apply. Maybe it's just me, but I pick up a hint of Dracula or another being with hypnotic eyes. Good write, Yumna

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

I didn't think of a dracula. It was def a human in my mind 😉😛
Thank you, Ted, for your.. read more
Aloha Yumna, a heavy emotional write, but may I say it feels like this enticing kind of sensual destruction as well. When you already know what the outcome will be, the opening lines cry emptiness. So well done. I hope this makes sense... haha. Izzy

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

This does make sense. Even more than the poem which I wrote without thinking lol 😛
Thank y.. read more

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Added on April 22, 2017
Last Updated on August 8, 2017

Experimental Poetry


Author

Dr. YumnaKay
Dr. YumnaKay

Karachi, Sindh, Pakistan



About
My writings reflect what I am, have been, and what I seek to be. Most of it is just ramblings in prose but occasionally I'll come up with poetry (if mood be). ~ We are not the same person we were .. more..

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