Intensity

Intensity

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

Experimental writing...

"
Intensity

Indistinct murmurs 
followed by your 
deep breaths. 

Each pause 
in your speech 
makes me hold my breath

as 

I wait for your next words, 
bewitched; your tone enchants
and entices me. 

this infinite distance 
between you and me
finally overcomes; 

the laughter in your voice ~ 

intensifies...
​​




© 2017 Dr. YumnaKay



My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Featured Review

I like the mystical feel to this piece. You're a great poet and you exercise a great use of words to paint images that invoke the feeling of intensity and mystery.
I've always liked poetry, but never felt I was any good at it. Poetry takes a whole other type of skill, and I really respect the art.
Good job here. =)

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

I do too and strive to get better each day 'cause I'm no poet lol
Thank you for your nice com.. read more
Sinbulvinter

6 Months Ago

You seem like a poet to me. haha. I can see the work you put into it.
And you're welcome. =)
Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Hahah these are the perks of reading poetry all day 😛😂



Reviews

Aloha Yumna, this certainly felt ethereal, with a hint of intrigue and I would even say seduction. It does build nicely and then it's done... but not quite done I suspect. Lovely read. Izzy

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Lol sometimes even I don't know what I write and this is one of those I just wrote off 😛
.. read more
just wow this is so cool! i love the mysterious-y vibe and the wording!!

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Thank you for your appreciation here. Glad you liked it 😊
Ohh...that's so pretty I loved it and the feel behind it...:)

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Thank you, Surya. I'm glad you liked it 😊
A spiritually seductive piece. It definitely has that mystique and intrigue that draws you in for a closer look. A most enjoyable read. Nice work!

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Thank you for your nice words over here, duff. Glad you enjoyed 😊
method

6 Months Ago

My pleasure Yumna:)
I would love to continue to read more about this piece. You can make it longer 😊 Enjoyed reading this one, Yumna. 2 thumbs up

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Ahh I wish I knew how to make it longer. I fall short of words too often..
Thank you for appr.. read more
Giullia King

6 Months Ago

I love that you're experimenting! Your writing gets better and better. I'm glad I'm back 😊
Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

And I'll keep on being 'cause that's how restless souls are 😉
I'm glad you're back too! .. read more
I really liked this piece, very thought provoking 😊 wonderful scribbles Yumna 😊😊

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Err thought provoking? Haha okay 😛😛
Thank you, Kesha. Glad you liked it 😊
Kesha

6 Months Ago

Haha yes and you're welcome :)
I like the mystical feel to this piece. You're a great poet and you exercise a great use of words to paint images that invoke the feeling of intensity and mystery.
I've always liked poetry, but never felt I was any good at it. Poetry takes a whole other type of skill, and I really respect the art.
Good job here. =)

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

I do too and strive to get better each day 'cause I'm no poet lol
Thank you for your nice com.. read more
Sinbulvinter

6 Months Ago

You seem like a poet to me. haha. I can see the work you put into it.
And you're welcome. =)
Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Hahah these are the perks of reading poetry all day 😛😂
Yumna, I so admire your need to experiment with writing, truly do. One learns both comfort and discomfort when wearing different coats.. and when folk admire or not, one learns yet more. That willingness of yours to 'take it on the chin' is wonderful.
Read your poem, then typed the above.. now read a second time, aloud. Firstly your slightly elongated display slides into Space and Time.. good. Your words, slow, increase, slow.. saying more each time.. more than fine. The intensity is so clearly shared, the need for the other is clearly shared.. and yet tis.. not.. quite.. complete. Your secret, perhaps.. or sadly omitted.

Brava, miss Yumna!

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Thank you for this thoughtful review over my writing, Emma. I'm glad you liked it. 😊
i remember a woman from Poland i was dating...i would hang on every word...she had such a great accent and was so interesting...i would just keep asking her questions so that she would talk to me.

and the feelings intensified the more i listened to her voice.
j.

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Yes, that does seem like how it is..
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here, Jacob.
I enjoy your observations of "intensity" . . . a feeling that some seek & others avoid. I'm reading this as a major contrast of ideas . . . on one hand, two people drawing closer & more connected, yet also described as "this infinite distance overcomes" (which seems to indicate LESS closeness)!?!?! I'm not sure what to make of this contrast, tho. I wonder if the "infinite distance" stanza might be stated as "is finally overcome" (which is the opposite meaning as what you've written here).

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

This was supposedly on a long distance relationship I wrote about. There does seem to be a conflict .. read more
barleygirl

6 Months Ago

I'm similarly torn about this . . . it could go either way & still be interesting!

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

251 Views
10 Reviews
Rating
Added on May 8, 2017
Last Updated on August 7, 2017

Experimental Poetry


Author

Dr. YumnaKay
Dr. YumnaKay

Karachi, Sindh, Pakistan



About
~ In search of a new me ~ more..

Writing
(in)sanity (in)sanity

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay


Tenterhooks Tenterhooks

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..