Commitment

Commitment

A Poem by YumnaKay
"

Experimenting with breaking words.

"

Love was ~

 

perhaps never my thing

 

or

 

maybe commit

ment

 

was never yours ...

© 2017 YumnaKay



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Featured Review

A nice experiment. I may try something like this myself.
I think breaking the word "commitment" was a good choice; it helped symbolize the character's broken relationship. The brevity, line breaks, and ellipsis at the end really help the piece resonate. Though, I suggest wording the last line as "was never yours" because I think the word "never" adds more emphasis than "wasn't." Other than that, I've nothing to critique. Well done.

- William Liston

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

1 Month Ago

That was what I tried to convey through the breaking of that word. I'm glad you could relate the two.. read more



Reviews

Piercing words, how it resembles such truth, either love or commitment have to ensemble the party of 2

Posted 2 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

1 Day Ago

True indeed. And we fail so often..
Presentation of words is superb....even the lines are too good and enough to explain what you want to say....I loved it.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

1 Month Ago

Thank you for appreciating :)
Priyanshi

1 Month Ago

My pleasure, friend.
Aloha Yumna, very elegant with a dash of hard truth! I like the kind of slap to the face this has :)
In my vast experience (jk) if love is the foundation then commitment is a given not an obligation that comes later on. Izzy

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

1 Month Ago

Deep thoughts even if you are kidding 😉😊
Thank you, Izzy. Appreciate your words here .. read more
Nice! Well written well worded. I enjoy it very much!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

1 Month Ago

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed :)
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Perhaps it was a commitment thing.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

1 Month Ago

Perhaps is the word alright..
Thank you.
"Commit
ment"
Excell
Ent!!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

1 Month Ago

Thank you for appreciating, Annette :))
A nice experiment. I may try something like this myself.
I think breaking the word "commitment" was a good choice; it helped symbolize the character's broken relationship. The brevity, line breaks, and ellipsis at the end really help the piece resonate. Though, I suggest wording the last line as "was never yours" because I think the word "never" adds more emphasis than "wasn't." Other than that, I've nothing to critique. Well done.

- William Liston

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

1 Month Ago

That was what I tried to convey through the breaking of that word. I'm glad you could relate the two.. read more
Short and yet kind of heartbreaking... it's always hard being with someone when it feels like they don't want to be around you/speak to you.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

1 Month Ago

Yeah, it does feel like it..
Thank you for your thoughts here, Kesha. Appreciate it 😊
Kesha

1 Month Ago

You're welcome :)
Much to.learn from few...:)

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

1 Month Ago

True, there always is.. Thank you :)
Surya

1 Month Ago

My plsr...:)
Beautiful ...................... I'm sorry........ I have no words to explain how these words hit me. You are a very romantic person for thinking of such deep words I'm already drowning in them. I loved every word. Thank you for sharing :)

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Luna

1 Month Ago

Maybe you don't think you are but warm words only come out of warm hearts so give yourself some cred.. read more
YumnaKay

1 Month Ago

Ahh you have a way with making me reflect over my words 😛
Luna

1 Month Ago

lol XD glad to hear you did ;)

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18 Reviews
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Added on May 16, 2017
Last Updated on June 22, 2017

Author

YumnaKay
YumnaKay

Karachi, Sindh, Pakistan



About
A 22 year old INTJ Cancerian, Dentist, Writer, Realist, Eccentric, and a whole lot more but discovering as the time passes... more..

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