Commitment

Commitment

A Poem by YumnaKay
"

Experimenting with breaking words.

"

Love was ~

 

perhaps never my thing

 

or

 

maybe commit

ment

 

wasn't yours...

© 2017 YumnaKay



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Featured Review

A nice experiment. I may try something like this myself.
I think breaking the word "commitment" was a good choice; it helped symbolize the character's broken relationship. The brevity, line breaks, and ellipsis at the end really help the piece resonate. Though, I suggest wording the last line as "was never yours" because I think the word "never" adds more emphasis than "wasn't." Other than that, I've nothing to critique. Well done.

- William Liston

Posted 5 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

5 Days Ago

That was what I tried to convey through the breaking of that word. I'm glad you could relate the two.. read more



Reviews

Aloha Yumna, very elegant with a dash of hard truth! I like the kind of slap to the face this has :)
In my vast experience (jk) if love is the foundation then commitment is a given not an obligation that comes later on. Izzy

Posted 2 Hours Ago


Nice! Well written well worded. I enjoy it very much!

Posted 1 Day Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

1 Day Ago

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed :)
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Perhaps it was a commitment thing.

Posted 4 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

4 Days Ago

Perhaps is the word alright..
Thank you.
"Commit
ment"
Excell
Ent!!

Posted 4 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

4 Days Ago

Thank you for appreciating, Annette :))
A nice experiment. I may try something like this myself.
I think breaking the word "commitment" was a good choice; it helped symbolize the character's broken relationship. The brevity, line breaks, and ellipsis at the end really help the piece resonate. Though, I suggest wording the last line as "was never yours" because I think the word "never" adds more emphasis than "wasn't." Other than that, I've nothing to critique. Well done.

- William Liston

Posted 5 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

5 Days Ago

That was what I tried to convey through the breaking of that word. I'm glad you could relate the two.. read more
Short and yet kind of heartbreaking... it's always hard being with someone when it feels like they don't want to be around you/speak to you.

Posted 6 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

5 Days Ago

Yeah, it does feel like it..
Thank you for your thoughts here, Kesha. Appreciate it 😊
Kesha

5 Days Ago

You're welcome :)
Much to.learn from few...:)

Posted 6 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

6 Days Ago

True, there always is.. Thank you :)
Surya

6 Days Ago

My plsr...:)
Beautiful ...................... I'm sorry........ I have no words to explain how these words hit me. You are a very romantic person for thinking of such deep words I'm already drowning in them. I loved every word. Thank you for sharing :)

Posted 6 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Luna

6 Days Ago

Maybe you don't think you are but warm words only come out of warm hearts so give yourself some cred.. read more
YumnaKay

6 Days Ago

Ahh you have a way with making me reflect over my words 😛
Luna

5 Days Ago

lol XD glad to hear you did ;)
Some people view commitment as an obligation that restricts freedom of their actions. They are not ready for a true relationship … Loved the message conveyed in a brevity of strong poetic text! :-)

Posted 6 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

6 Days Ago

I totally agree on that point. Thank you for your thoughts here and for liking, Phill 😊
yes, that is it now...love is not my thing...commitment was at one time...well more than one time...but now?

commitment to less complications...

i like this.

Posted 6 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YumnaKay

6 Days Ago

I like your thoughts on this. Thank you for appreciating, Jacob.

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Added on May 16, 2017
Last Updated on May 16, 2017

Author

YumnaKay
YumnaKay

Karachi, Sindh, Pakistan



About
INTJ || 22 || Writer || Dentist || Realist || Eccentric 😉 more..

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