Commitment

Commitment

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

Experimenting with breaking words.

"

Love was ~

 

perhaps never


my thing

 


or

 


maybe commit

ment

 

was never


yours ...



© 2017 Dr. YumnaKay



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Featured Review

A nice experiment. I may try something like this myself.
I think breaking the word "commitment" was a good choice; it helped symbolize the character's broken relationship. The brevity, line breaks, and ellipsis at the end really help the piece resonate. Though, I suggest wording the last line as "was never yours" because I think the word "never" adds more emphasis than "wasn't." Other than that, I've nothing to critique. Well done.

- William Liston

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Months Ago

That was what I tried to convey through the breaking of that word. I'm glad you could relate the two.. read more



Reviews

Piercing words, how it resembles such truth, either love or commitment have to ensemble the party of 2

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

5 Months Ago

True indeed. And we fail so often..
Presentation of words is superb....even the lines are too good and enough to explain what you want to say....I loved it.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Thank you for appreciating :)
Priyanshi

6 Months Ago

My pleasure, friend.
Aloha Yumna, very elegant with a dash of hard truth! I like the kind of slap to the face this has :)
In my vast experience (jk) if love is the foundation then commitment is a given not an obligation that comes later on. Izzy

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Deep thoughts even if you are kidding 😉😊
Thank you, Izzy. Appreciate your words here .. read more
Nice! Well written well worded. I enjoy it very much!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed :)
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Perhaps it was a commitment thing.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Perhaps is the word alright..
Thank you.
"Commit
ment"
Excell
Ent!!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Months Ago

Thank you for appreciating, Annette :))
A nice experiment. I may try something like this myself.
I think breaking the word "commitment" was a good choice; it helped symbolize the character's broken relationship. The brevity, line breaks, and ellipsis at the end really help the piece resonate. Though, I suggest wording the last line as "was never yours" because I think the word "never" adds more emphasis than "wasn't." Other than that, I've nothing to critique. Well done.

- William Liston

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Months Ago

That was what I tried to convey through the breaking of that word. I'm glad you could relate the two.. read more
Short and yet kind of heartbreaking... it's always hard being with someone when it feels like they don't want to be around you/speak to you.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Months Ago

Yeah, it does feel like it..
Thank you for your thoughts here, Kesha. Appreciate it 😊
Kesha

7 Months Ago

You're welcome :)
Much to.learn from few...:)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Months Ago

True, there always is.. Thank you :)
Surya

7 Months Ago

My plsr...:)
Beautiful ...................... I'm sorry........ I have no words to explain how these words hit me. You are a very romantic person for thinking of such deep words I'm already drowning in them. I loved every word. Thank you for sharing :)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Luna

7 Months Ago

Maybe you don't think you are but warm words only come out of warm hearts so give yourself some cred.. read more
Dr. YumnaKay

7 Months Ago

Ahh you have a way with making me reflect over my words 😛
Luna

7 Months Ago

lol XD glad to hear you did ;)

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Added on May 16, 2017
Last Updated on August 7, 2017

Experimental Poetry


Author

Dr. YumnaKay
Dr. YumnaKay

Karachi, Sindh, Pakistan



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