Commitment

Commitment

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

Experimenting with breaking words.

"

Love was ~

 

perhaps never


my thing

 


or

 


maybe commit

ment

 

was never


yours ...



© 2017 Dr. YumnaKay



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Featured Review

A nice experiment. I may try something like this myself.
I think breaking the word "commitment" was a good choice; it helped symbolize the character's broken relationship. The brevity, line breaks, and ellipsis at the end really help the piece resonate. Though, I suggest wording the last line as "was never yours" because I think the word "never" adds more emphasis than "wasn't." Other than that, I've nothing to critique. Well done.

- William Liston

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

5 Months Ago

That was what I tried to convey through the breaking of that word. I'm glad you could relate the two.. read more


Believe It Or Not Believe It Or Not
This is my first attempt at slam poetry, and I'm excited to film a performance of this piece over the coming day.

Reviews

Some people view commitment as an obligation that restricts freedom of their actions. They are not ready for a true relationship … Loved the message conveyed in a brevity of strong poetic text! :-)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

5 Months Ago

I totally agree on that point. Thank you for your thoughts here and for liking, Phill 😊
yes, that is it now...love is not my thing...commitment was at one time...well more than one time...but now?

commitment to less complications...

i like this.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

5 Months Ago

I like your thoughts on this. Thank you for appreciating, Jacob.
Woah! Those couple of words are really deep Yumna! Amazing job Yumna!
Keep it up

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

5 Months Ago

Thank you for appreciating, Shaan. Glad you liked it. 😊
Mr.Writer

5 Months Ago

No problem
The brevity of this is something I truly admire. I'd say you nailed it!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

5 Months Ago

Thank you for appreciating, Kelly. 😊
if it`s real, you melt into one another

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

5 Months Ago

Probably yes... Thank you for your words here.
SALTY OML but this is great nonetheless

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

5 Months Ago

Thank you :)
Ouch. Pure venom rolling off the tongue. Its incredible how a few words can have a direct hit to the core. Put up or shut up. Love the attitude. Nice job!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

5 Months Ago

I love your interpretation here. Thank you for appreciating, duff. 😊
duff

5 Months Ago

You're welcome. Anytime.
So deep. I really liked it.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

5 Months Ago

Thank you, Najam. Glad you did 😊
Najam Us Saher

5 Months Ago

You're welcome.

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Added on May 16, 2017
Last Updated on August 7, 2017

Experimental Poetry


Author

Dr. YumnaKay
Dr. YumnaKay

Karachi, Sindh, Pakistan



About
My writings reflect what I am, have been, and what I seek to be. Most of it is just ramblings in prose but occasionally I'll come up with poetry (if mood be). ~ We are not the same person we were .. more..

Writing
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