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Solemnly Swear
An action-packed suspense thriller that explores the fragile balance between justice and self-preservation.
Commitment

Commitment

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

Experimenting with breaking words.

"

Love was ~

 

perhaps never


my thing

 


or

 


maybe commit

ment

 

was never


yours ...



© 2017 Dr. YumnaKay



My Review

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Featured Review

A nice experiment. I may try something like this myself.
I think breaking the word "commitment" was a good choice; it helped symbolize the character's broken relationship. The brevity, line breaks, and ellipsis at the end really help the piece resonate. Though, I suggest wording the last line as "was never yours" because I think the word "never" adds more emphasis than "wasn't." Other than that, I've nothing to critique. Well done.

- William Liston

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

That was what I tried to convey through the breaking of that word. I'm glad you could relate the two.. read more



Reviews

Some people view commitment as an obligation that restricts freedom of their actions. They are not ready for a true relationship … Loved the message conveyed in a brevity of strong poetic text! :-)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

I totally agree on that point. Thank you for your thoughts here and for liking, Phill 😊
yes, that is it now...love is not my thing...commitment was at one time...well more than one time...but now?

commitment to less complications...

i like this.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

I like your thoughts on this. Thank you for appreciating, Jacob.
Woah! Those couple of words are really deep Yumna! Amazing job Yumna!
Keep it up

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you for appreciating, Shaan. Glad you liked it. 😊
Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

No problem
The brevity of this is something I truly admire. I'd say you nailed it!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you for appreciating, Kelly. 😊
if it`s real, you melt into one another

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Probably yes... Thank you for your words here.
SALTY OML but this is great nonetheless

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you :)
Ouch. Pure venom rolling off the tongue. Its incredible how a few words can have a direct hit to the core. Put up or shut up. Love the attitude. Nice job!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

I love your interpretation here. Thank you for appreciating, duff. 😊
duff

1 Year Ago

You're welcome. Anytime.
So deep. I really liked it.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you, Najam. Glad you did 😊
Najam Us Saher

1 Year Ago

You're welcome.

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Added on May 16, 2017
Last Updated on August 7, 2017

Experimental Poetry


Author

Dr. YumnaKay
Dr. YumnaKay

Pakistan



About
I would call myself a writer but I don't feel accomplished or learned enough to consider myself anywhere near as one. I write mainly to clear the weird buzzing in my mind and heart (but I suppose that.. more..

Writing

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