I am ~ unraveling

I am ~ unraveling

A Chapter by Dr YumnaKay
"

Experimental... probably...

"
​I wonder about​ the music, the sound of your soul - deep voice which fills me in
 
I wonder about the silence, more profound than your soft, nuzzling whispers which brush past

I wonder about the electrifying stares, fiery glances and the meaning they carry right over to me 

I wonder about the embrace which used to envelope me and now seems lost;


wandering alone --- I am ~ unraveling. 





© 2017 Dr YumnaKay



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Featured Review

Yumna Hi. I like the lyricism and flow in this. And I really like the way the final line almost sums up the others and reaches the conclusion that matches the title.

I do, however, question the core word 'wonder'. To me this word has always been imagination of what-ifs, exciting possibilities, etc. You seem to be using it to reflect back. So for me, this is dissonant. Just me being too literal again ....!

BRs Nigel

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

I appreciate your being literal, Nigel. I think you are right about that word choice. What I had in .. read more
Nigel Newman

11 Months Ago

I think it could be a trawl through the thesaurus for a single word verb to replace 'wonder' ...! It.. read more
Dr YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

I'll certainly go through it then :) thanks again :)



Reviews

Agree with Nigel Newman about the lyricism and flow. I would, however, keep "wonder" except for the last line, then use "wander" to emphasize the journey of unraveling.
Nicely done.

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

That is indeed a nice suggestion. Thank you for that and for appreciating, CC :)
How the sounds and silences come and speak into our souls so deeply from those we love. Yet, this unraveling feels so painfully cold, threads of your life being pulled apart. In the wondering may you find a peace, somehow, dear poet.

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Thank you for your words here, Craig. I appreciate it. Glad to see you around :)
An owl on the moon

11 Months Ago

Glad you're still planting your garden here. :)
Dr YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

And you too :-)
So many questions, so many whys ...
We sometimes are left wondering
forever ................
about Love..

Soft-Real- Honest

JAZZY



Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Oh, INTJ is actually my personality type. Idk if you know about the MBTI personality tests?.. And Ca.. read more
J. J.  Nightingale

11 Months Ago

OHHHHHHH.. Thank you !!!!!!!
Dr YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

You're welcome :))
oh wow, i remember this well, the cold stares, the flinching when i reached for her hand...and the silences that were deafening.

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Deafening silences, yes exactly... More powerful than some noises.. Thank you, Jacob. I appreciate y.. read more
You nailed the point of the writing malarkey here Yumna. You connect so well here.
The overt wistfulness is tempered by the emotion beautifully.
Superb!

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Hahah well since you've now told what the movie is about so I don't have to see 😛😉
And.. read more
Tony Jordan

11 Months Ago

Damn ! I forgot to include ***WARNING SPOILER*** lol. But who doesnt know what happened to the Tita.. read more
Dr YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

I know the real version not the movie one lol probably they died haha :p
I loved the piece. I picture a person sitting there, kind of mesmerized by someone. Someone they've known a while I think. Captured the feeling you were trying to put out well, I felt something for sure, a wondering... Thanks for sharing!

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Thank you, Damien. I think you summarized what I tried to convey really nicely. I'm glad you felt it.. read more
Yumna Hi. I like the lyricism and flow in this. And I really like the way the final line almost sums up the others and reaches the conclusion that matches the title.

I do, however, question the core word 'wonder'. To me this word has always been imagination of what-ifs, exciting possibilities, etc. You seem to be using it to reflect back. So for me, this is dissonant. Just me being too literal again ....!

BRs Nigel

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

I appreciate your being literal, Nigel. I think you are right about that word choice. What I had in .. read more
Nigel Newman

11 Months Ago

I think it could be a trawl through the thesaurus for a single word verb to replace 'wonder' ...! It.. read more
Dr YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

I'll certainly go through it then :) thanks again :)
Such an elegant, realistic and emotional poem!
As it embraces the readers into the story just like an envelope...
Well done Yumna, keep it up!

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Thank you, Shaan. I'm glad you like it 😊
Mr.Writer

11 Months Ago

No problem :)
Wistful, questioning changes in a relationship..,"Unraveling"-great title expressive of the poet's turmoil. Elegant words and gentle flow. Lovely poem.

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr YumnaKay

11 Months Ago

Thank you, Annette. Always appreciate your words 😊

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Experimental Poetry


Author

Dr YumnaKay
Dr YumnaKay

Pakistan



About
Dentist || Writer || Poet || Enthusiast || Eccentric ...and a whole lot more, hoping to discover this year. Instagram: @yumnakay more..

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