Shatter me ~ to pieces

Shatter me ~ to pieces

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

Experimental.

"


Shatter me
to pieces, I thought,
as my fingers killed time,
tracing the blues of
your ink, faded.

Shatter me 
to pieces, I thought,
as I sat and sat, looking 
through the glass window,
flashes of pretty pictures passing 
in fast motion, obscured.

Shatter me 
to pieces, I thought,
as I paced around my room, 
my heartbeat the sound of 
thunder and my breath, laboured.


And shatter me
to pieces, untouched.






© 2018 Dr. YumnaKay



Author's Note

Dr. YumnaKay
Not really refined. Still feels unfinished but oh well..(saved for later edits)

My Review

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Featured Review

i feel this one for sure..the repetition works particularly well says i ...there are almost terrifying moments we are shattered ...its numbing ... almost makes one sick to the stomach ... i like bringing the "outside" world into the scene as we are all connected to it no matter our personal experiences ... but in this one .. that world is un-graspable as it blurs by ... i don't think i would change much on this if anything ..it is very complete to me ...maybe expand imagery, colors and scents somehow ... but not needed to create this poignant moment ..and i love that pic ...along with your title the first thing i see is the shattering of her face ...in horrible grief ..good stuff Dr.
E.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

5 Months Ago

Thank you so much for your thoughts and suggestions on this piece, Einstein. Glad you like it. (:



Reviews

I love the way you’ve crafted this message with gracefulness more than drama. As always, your writing is super original & you pick vivid details to make your writing pop. This reminds me of how some people can be unknowingly crushing a person just by disregarding him/her . . . kinda like my birth family! *sigh!* Fondly, Margie

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

4 Months Ago

That's the first time someone told me my writing pops and I like that very much :D
Thank you.. read more
Thoughts and emotions taking us to distant places only we know and understand ourselves- the effect of emotions reeling and heartbeats ceasing according to words spoken or written and thoughts of how to perceive each one- ink fades, but memories remain forever- wonderfully written🌹

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

4 Months Ago

They do indeed.
Thank you so much for your words here and for appreciating, RP. :)
‘Thoughts In Time’🌹

4 Months Ago

My pleasure- enjoyed your words🌹
These words are outstanding in a fragmented and beautiful kind of way.. Your experiment is a total success in my book..... amazing artwork too ....thank you my friend.............. Neville

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

4 Months Ago

Almost all my poetic pieces are written in fragments, I find it hard to really assemble them in a go.. read more
Neville Pettitt

4 Months Ago

no apologies necessary.. you have written something a little bit special here and I think it is grea.. read more
I am sure others will have their takes and I have mine. When we are strong, and we stand against one who tries to shatter us with their words and actions, sometimes we come out the other side better, intact.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

4 Months Ago

I think at times that is what happens.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for reading. .. read more
I used this piece of artwork for a poem "Historian" long ago. It struck something so deep within that I stared at it for a long while. I instantly felt that depth here today. Your words to me to an even deeper meaning.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

4 Months Ago

When I was looking up a pic for this piece, I couldn't stop looking at this one either, though my wo.. read more
 Crippled Queen

4 Months Ago

Maybe we are each a piece of it....would certainly explain the overwhelming need to just sit within .. read more
Dr. YumnaKay

4 Months Ago

That's a lovely way to describe that feeling.
Picture and poem so evocative and filled with emotion. Verses raw with pain? Desire?...provoked by ink on a page....Repetition of title as first line of verses, and breathtaking last two lines- dramatic, raw. “ And shatter me to pieces, untouched.”- pow! magnificent write.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

5 Months Ago

That's such a lovely review! Thank you so much for appreciating, Annette. Glad you like it x
i feel this one for sure..the repetition works particularly well says i ...there are almost terrifying moments we are shattered ...its numbing ... almost makes one sick to the stomach ... i like bringing the "outside" world into the scene as we are all connected to it no matter our personal experiences ... but in this one .. that world is un-graspable as it blurs by ... i don't think i would change much on this if anything ..it is very complete to me ...maybe expand imagery, colors and scents somehow ... but not needed to create this poignant moment ..and i love that pic ...along with your title the first thing i see is the shattering of her face ...in horrible grief ..good stuff Dr.
E.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

5 Months Ago

Thank you so much for your thoughts and suggestions on this piece, Einstein. Glad you like it. (:
wow , this was deep, keep writing


Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

5 Months Ago

Thank you for appreciating. And oh, I will ;)
There’s something missing in this write . Non the less still a good piece

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

5 Months Ago

I think you're right re this piece missing something. I feel that too, hopefully I'll rewrite it soo.. read more
JayDee

5 Months Ago

A pleasure, looking forward to the rewrite :)
That is a very deep expressed write

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

5 Months Ago

Thank you so much, Jon. Glad you appreciate. 😊
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000

5 Months Ago

You are very welcome

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Added on June 26, 2018
Last Updated on September 22, 2018

Experimental Poetry



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