The River

My beloved river has become a venomous snake!

The river stinks
It's a hell on  the earth
My mood sinks
As I miss its mirth

I can't measure
The extent of pollution
The precious treasure
Has become a delusion

The river is full of venom
It jumps out to bite one and all
There lives danger in each atom
You will be killed soon if you fall

The river is a pool of sin
Effusion of humanity drains into its stream
Signs of death dance and grin
Frustration and fear make me scream

Reviews

[Akleja]

This poem really speaks to me, since I really care about the environment and and how disgusted I am that it's been abused to such an extent... This is really good. It still gives me goosebumps even though I've read through it several times. I like the second part the most since it really makes me emotional...
"I can't measure
The extent of pollution
The precious treasure
Has become a delusion"
You're really good with words and the rhymes are fitted perfectly.

[zainul]

I feel very blessed that you could relate with the piece.
Thank you for stopping by to grace the piece.
I am also grateful for your nice compliments :)

[RainC]

....and a river flows through it! Love your frustration in words for this planet! Nicely done!

[zainul]

Thanks for the awesome review :)

[Greg Skura]

Such a great metaphor for the exploitation of all the resources of this sacred planet, it is truly a shame.

[zainul]

Thank you Greg for the very admiring review.
This means a world to me.

[Faith]

What a beautiful environmental poem. I love the message put behind this, really moving.

[zainul]

Thank you Faith for stopping by to grace this piece with your admiring review.
Let's raise voice together to save our environment.
Poets like you may do miracles for the campaign on safe environment.

[Faith]

Thank you, Zainul, you too! Writing a more environmental piece will definitely be at the top of my list. A really honourable and important cause.

[zainul]

I feel very inspired :)
Wish you best luck.

[luviva]

this is so good,
i dont know what take you had on this, but all i can get from it is the dangers cause by industrialisation and human growth in numbers how our beautiful rvers are polluted

[zainul]

You have correctly got the point.
The rivers are being polluted so badly that it is almost impossible to find a safe river.
Thanks for stopping by for supporting the campaign on save rivers.

[luviva]

you are welcome and i guess we got the same minds,. we will go far with the campaign i believe!

[zainul]

Yes,we got the same minds.
I also believe that we will go far with the campaign.
Thanks for stopping by again.

[Annelise]

This seems is visually emotional, it can represent whatever emotional hell someone is going through.


The river is a pool of sin
Effusion of humanity drains into its stream
Signs of death dance and grin
Frustration and fear make me scream

This is what I mean, emotional hell so very loud. You are so talented, I envy you!

[zainul]

Thank for honoring me by the very admiring review and amazing compliments.
I know you love me under the guise of envy :)
Thanks for stopping to grace my humble work.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I quite like this one. The river can be a "real river" or a metaphor for a deeper issue...I like to see it as a metaphor. With that being said, you have some strong and intriguing images in this one. I like the flow and the texture of it, and I think that the first two stanzas are my favorites. Nicely done.

[zainul]

Thank you for your intention to see the river as a metaphor. You have honored me by doing this favor.I am very pleased for your generous compliments :)

[ms. barrie]

A very profound, eloquently written poem, zainul, this write, really does speaks volumes of Man's destruction upon Mother Nature's glorious gift she has bestowed upon us, yet instead of taking care of her gifts, giving thanks, it seems Humankind is destined to just keep spitting pollution. I am also disgusted!

--- The river is full of venom
It jumps out to bite one and all
There lives danger in each atom
You will be killed soon if you fall

The river is a pool of sin
Effusion of humanity drains into its stream
Signs of death dance and grin
Frustration and fear make me scream --

--- Very well crafted poem, great use
of rhyme and fluidity...and I love the imagery of
the biting foreboding in
your choice of words, you used
in these last stanzas, zainul. Brilliant poem! 100 to 100!
Shine on with that pen of yours, my Dear Poet, Friend :)
Thanks for sharing,

[zainul]

Dear Barrie,I am speechless.
I am very grateful to you for your generous words :)

[ms. barrie]

Pleasure was/is all mine to read, zainul! You have a lot to say and a very enlightening way to share it with the beauty of your words, Dear Poet! As I am
grateful for all your lovely reviews upon my writings.
Namaste! :))

[zainul]

Sorry for the delay in replying.
I always adore your talented endeavor.
I am confident that your name and fame will remain as my pride.
Namaste! :))

[ms. barrie]

No need for apologizes, Dear Poet, life happens!
I adore your talented endeavors as well!
read moreNo need for apologizes, Dear Poet, life happens!
I adore your talented endeavors as well!
Like-wise, very much so (did that make sense?)

Namaste! :)

[zainul]

Yea,it did that make sense.
This is all my pleasure
Namaste! :)

[char]

I like the way you compare a polluted river to a venomous snake. Fortunately, I have never experienced pollution. But the ponds and rivers we used to have are drying up. Which is an even worser situation.

[zainul]

Thank you Anna for the admiring review and generous compliments.
This is the result of a very painful personal experience.
I could not bear the destruction of the beauty of my beloved river.
Yes,you are very correct to say that the the ponds and rivers are drying up.
Only miracles can save us from a devastated world.

[char]

The river that used to run by my house is now just a stream. We used to call it 'Tóhtsoh' which means 'Big Water'. Now it's just...tiny. It's sad.

[zainul]

I can simply sympathize,my friend.
Let's hope for the best:)

[Stacey Watts]

It is sad when something so beautiful becomes so tainted and we can't enjoy it anymore. This is very well written. It paints a picture of how society abuses beauty.

[zainul]

Thank you Stacey for the thoughtful and admiring review.
This is what I wanted to share with all my friend here and around the world.
You have made my day,dear friend :)

[❤ Maggie ❤..]

Very good write! I enjoyed this piece and agree with it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. It is so very good!

[zainul]

Thank you Maggie for the wonderful review and compliments.
You made my day.
Stay happy and enjoy your time.

[❤ Maggie ❤]

You are most welcome! I am so happy I made your day:)

[zainul]

:)