so this is what has become of you

eyeliner and collar bones

what happened to your music

replaced it for candy placed carefully in the corners of your mouth

small hello lost in a sea of all that light

your eyes

are still

fascinating

you’ve grown into a lily and wilted back into soil

into the underbelly

into the bacteria and semen

this is all you can see

through dark, narrow eyes

your eyes are obscured by the portraits of your ribcage

the ones you parade

on every flat surface

like a crusade of broken fingers and razor blades

this is the fortress you’ve made

you give everything to everyone

baring shoulders and teeth

in hopes that they’ll stay

well

you were beautiful once

sort of

but now you’ve burned yourself on the fire

you found so tempting

and the ashes of your fingertips return to dust

your bones will break and heal and break again because you need to remind yourself of the feeling

really

the self inflicted conflict is your only connection to the past

so

why do i still write to you

you exist in portraits of your ribcage

and small transmissions miscommunicated through too many words

not enough feeling

too much skin,

not enough feeling

not the kind you want

the kind displaced in bare skin, and teeth, and collar bones