Ode to a Bee

The messenger of Spring...

Swift bee, the gilded messenger of bliss,

    Begirt with golden stars of Heaven’s span,

What draws you to the clover’s gentle kiss?

    Sweet nectars, that the strongest drinker can

    Carouse with dreams and dizzy waves of sleep,

        Or mocks the freshest breath of summer’s clime?

            Swift bee, a flame-plumed star of black and gold,

    Why do you with your mouth, completely reap

            The liquors that each golden bud does hold,

        And lulls with somnolence the might of time?

 

Oh, bee, you spread the tufted pollen clouds

     Like nebulae of opal stars crossways

The delicate, soft digitalis crowds,

    Which passionately garner sunbeam rays

    Within their coral shells. I can’t express

        How much your toil’s worth to coming spring,

             And how so passioned glide your wings around

    The purple, gentle harebell’s loosened dress,

             And make, through pretty hums, spring’s hopeful sound

        Oft too profaned by your most fearsome sting!

 

Oh, pretty hummer! Hearty worker! Bee!

    I see you roaming round the garden’s bend,

Where sweet, white daisies wreathe a canopy,

    And make you but a hearty, cheerful friend.

    Swift bee, the aching, swollen heart of mine

        Desires comfort where pain knows no ruth

            The buds hold, like rich garners golden grain,

    Ambrosia of the gods, dream’s honeyed wine

            So bring and let dear bee, such moisture stain

        My lips and warm my heart with spring’s bright youth!

 

Author's Note

Anything I can improve upon?

Reviews

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

Swift bee, the gilded messenger of bliss,

Begirt with golden stars of Heaven’s span,

What draws you to the clover’s gentle kiss?



Quite breathtakingly lovely like a breath of
fresh air blowing in the breeze.



Almost like the Valley of Honey
and Milk in the bible but not quite the
same but the poem was just as beautiful.


Blessings. Benita/ kindred poet

[Fire Mage Andrea]

This is beautiful. You have done well with this and it looks like how the great masters of poetry would word their poems

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

Dare I find flaw with an eloquent dissertation, of homage to the finger of God? Has He not created the perfect relationship between the flower and the bee? They fulfill each other's needs and dreams. Linked together from the first instant of time, the union of their desire, sparks a chain of events that feeds the multitudes of beasts and man alike. Under appreciated and feared by many, the tireless bee gives its all.

[Augustus]

When I am in the mood for romantic poetry, I could turn to Palgrave's Golden Treasury, or I could visit the page of Gleb Zavlanov. You have got the measure of structured verse like very few others that I know. Only someone who has written an ode before can truly appreciate what you have achieved here. The complex but coherent weave created by the structure, diction and the subject matter of the poem is a hallmark of the romantics. Bringing out beauty in the simplest and most mundane creatures and phenomena, in a presentation far more graceful than free verse can ever hope to achieve.

Here, the role of figures of speech becomes immediately apparent.
"What draws you to the clover’s gentle kiss?", "Like nebulae of opal stars crossways".... I could go on quoting. The poem is so beauty-laden, an ode true to the canonical form and worthy of a place among the great ones of years gone by. Also, I think the way you have mentioned the bee's sting is brilliant.

A few minor points to ponder over:
1) Stanza#1 Line#7: I am not sure about the word flame-plumed. I stumbled there while reading the poem. I feel a 'p' sound immediately following an 'm' sound is slightly hard on the tongue. How about flame-crowned, for instance?

2) Stanza#2 Line#3: The stress on the syllables is somewhat off, I think.

3) Stanza#2 Line#6: Would it be better to write "toil is" rather than "toil's"?

But overall, this is a fantastic ode. True to the tradition, embodying all that is worth emulating about it. Well done!

[Gleb Zavlanov]

Thank you so much for the kind, constructive review. I will gladly look into the minor points you mentioned. Thank you.

[Hypnos]

Wonderfully done. Your getting better and better each time I read your works.

[Blue]

Wow, such elaborate description. I'm never good at details so I wish I could write as good as you. There seems to be no useless word in the poem, everything has a purpose. Wonderfully-written. More RRs from you, please? :)

[Bluefire]

The bee in that photo. . . Is. . . So. . . FWUFFY!
(Sorry, had to get that out of my system).
This was well written and made me miss summer more than anything.
The unique wording added a nice flare to the bright and sunny picture behind my eyes.
Thanks for sharing!

[icelandicblue]

This was lovely. I enjoy watching bees and I taught about them in a science class long ago so I am imbued with knowledge about their most interesting lives. They are amazing insects and they are so good for our planet. Just the thought of their buzzing makes me long for summer. The poem was a joy to read.

[Coyote Poetry]

You did a wonderful job with this poem. The description was true and made me wish for days when the bees can roam and do their function for nature. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Pryde Foltz]

The buds hold, like rich garners golden grain,
Ambrosia of the gods, dream’s honeyed wine
So bring and let dear bee, such moisture stain
My lips and warm my heart with spring’s bright youth!

I say superb word play … elegant and imagery-rich.