The Fire Eater's Daughter

he is to love, what she is to leave.

hopeful bending hands smooth her into place
braille sex under his constellation stare
honey skin dulls the damage aftertaste
the fire eater’s daughter, pulling hair

she is a hunter with an arson tongue
stretching, coiling, coming right on cue
just like death, his bell jar heart overhung
only pulsing exit thoughts to imbue

save the soulmate jargon for the poets
fire likes to burn and such is her call
meet her prey, cartoon lover’s eyes show it
once in your view, now nowhere at all

inhale, backdraft, carbon breath consequence
chemically altered ambivalence

Reviews

[Pax Analog]

Impressive paean to sexual fire without romanticism, even without the structural sonnet requirements. With those requirements, there's an additional firmness that underscores the fire eater's daughter's ruthless carnal appetite. Your meticulous verse burns deep into the reader's brain, branding libido f**k fire free.

[ZeeArsonist]

Pax, thank you for taking the time to read and let these words penetrate. I appreciate the feedback on a piece that I have felt very unsure of. I can't say I will continue to write within these structures, but it was a challenge that allowed me to flex a poetic muscle i never knew I had. I look forward to reading more of your work. I feel I have found a new comrade in poetry.

[Emily B]

there used to be a famed story-teller among us by the name of w.k.kortas, he was a writer, teacher and all around good guy

when he found the really good stuff, he used to call it top-shelf work

alas and alack, he is gone, someone must take up the slack

this IS top-shelf work

[Steven]

I like the substance of the poem quite a bit, but it isn't in iambic pentameter, and so can't accurately be called a Shakespearean sonnet. It's still good, though.

[ZeeArsonist]

Indeed. The writers group wanted us to submit what we felt was our best attempt at the Shakespearean Sonnet. I know its not perfect, but I liked the results from at least giving it a try. Thanks for reading and providing constructive feedback, Steven.

[Steven]

Sure thing. It's close, just needs to be iambic. That isn't too difficult once you practice it a bit. I'm personally a little 'over' the form though. Too rigid.

[Richard]

yeah I agree with that ... almost like a romantic anti-hero without romanticism which I've seen a lot of on here ... really good work
and again, I love the title ... do you write songs?

[ZeeArsonist]

I have never written a song, no. I am not musically inclined, much to my dislike. I'd love to learn piano. At any rate, thanks for reading! This was a tough piece for me to write since it follows sonnet form, yet I was trying not to lose my "style" and authenticity.

[Richard]

oh so nice :) sonnet yes I do see this now ... I haven't attempted a sonnet in a long time ... I tend to think (maybe to my misfortune) that sonnets and haiku and things are very much a set of rules ... at least I used t think that :S but I recently did some haiku's as part of a college assignment and I was quite happy with the tradition of them and how they turned out ... I think I may post them
you're very welcome by the way :)
you do fine fine work :)

[Saint No-One]

This is brilliant, it's wit is razor sharp. I adore the line "Braille sex under his constellation stare."

[ZeeArsonist]

Thank you for the encouragement. Words are my favorite. My own endless pallet of color. I'm glad you felt moved enough to get to the end and leave me a comment. I look forward to returning the kindness.

[Luke L]

Whoa beautiful! It took me a couple reads to grasp this. I love the fiery passion in this piece. I think I smell smoke..

[ZeeArsonist]

Thanks for the kind words and time. I usually know during the first read if I like something, but it takes me several times re-reading to figure out what exactly is going on. My poetry brain and my logical brain are not often in sync either. :P

[Luke L]

thanks fine neither are mine :) I like to write when inspired and get the ideas out quickly, but I don't like to edit my pieces it's the most boring part I just want to focus on the parts I enjoy :p.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

This is only the second time I read a sonnet in here....plus an effective literary device. Wow! You hit it right, dear Arsonist. I love this one.
Thanks for sharing.

[ZeeArsonist]

dhaye! Thank you so much for reading! I was part of a writing group for a time and this was one of our exercises. Its really daunting to try and write something modern within such classic constraints. Thanks again for the encouragement. Take care!

[ZeeArsonist]

Just for a little background on this one: I'm not used to writing structured poetry. For this writing exercise we needed to follow the Shakespearean Sonnet form. 3 quatrains abab/cdcd/efef/ and one couplet, gg. Any feedback would be most appreciated.