Jordan

Jordan

"

I'm new

"
http://sixmetamorphoses.blogspot.com/
Conway, AR
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About Me

I am writing and living in Arkansas. You can read more stuff by me on my blog. I also have a Facebook.


Comments

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Posted 8 Years Ago


hi

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Posted 8 Years Ago


You are right Jordan about that correction. Thanks for reviewing and commenting..

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Posted 8 Years Ago


Well, I would say the scene with the homeless man holding out the cup was the part that would best get at the feeling you're trying to give–Hank almost coming to a realization that in the long term, what he has a bit trivial. But, I really didn't come away feeling either of those thoughts specifically. That he was disgusted by his trivial life or that he was disgusted that he enjoyed it. Instead, I felt Hank realized the emptiness and pointlessness of it all, not really disgust. I guess if you wanted to get across that he was disgusted that he enjoyed all of his important yet petty achievements, the homeless guy scene would definitely be the best place to expand and try to do it right now. Hope that helps in some way.

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Posted 8 Years Ago


thanks for the review. I made it rhyme so it would be more poetry and less of a rant.

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Posted 8 Years Ago


Haha! Yeh, think that's why I went off them. I sort of grew up and thought "Oh, shut up Morrissey, it's not the 80's anymore!"

Don't get me wrong, they've got some great songs, but Morrissey and his big mouth-especially concerning politics-is just annoying!

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Posted 8 Years Ago


Hey, cheers for the request. Will get round to reading soon as I can, bit busy at the moment :)

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Posted 8 Years Ago


just so you know, that's not my boyfriend. He's been my ex since January. There is a delay on my featured pieces. ha. I wait till I feel like I've gotten enough feedback on them before I change them. I don't even like that piece very much. But thanks for the feedback =)
KH

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Posted 8 Years Ago


thanks for the FR~thoroughly enjoying your poems~
Selene