Critique Me! Forum Critique requests?

Want a certain piece of your writing critiqued?
Post here, saying so and I, as well as any others (hopefully) who are watching this thread, can drop by and check your writing out.

I would like a critique on my most recent piece, Chapter One, Job Benefits.
Thanks, and feel free to ask for critiques!

-Alex

I'll be sure to check your writing out.

I need two pieces critiqued.

'The Edge of the World' and 'Please No, Not That'

Thanks in advanced.

Feel free to read and review any of my poems.

Hey,

I just started to write my first ever book. I have written storys before but I usualy stick to poetry. So this my first ever major piece of writing. So I really need peoples help to tell me whats wrong with it, how I can improve it, spelling and grammer problems (spelling and grammer is where I fall short) and in general what they think of the story. It is currently Untitled but you will find it on my page called "Untitled - A work in progress". Feel free to rip it it shreds. Any help you wish to offer will be majorly appriciated :)

Thanks and keep smiling

I would like feedback on two pieces: The Capacity for Hate, and Grandma, Mick Jagger, and Eddie Damn VEdder. Both are Essays, quite brief.

Thanks.

I currently woking on a group of short stories that will coincide with my novel...please let me know what you think....also I post a complete story on my pages thanks.....I will surely return the favor

The waning years after the First End War were trying times for the Almerian kingdoms. The Minotaur clans struggled to rebuild their city after countless attacks by the stone titan Gigas and his legion of stone trolls. They first began to ravage the Minotaur city after the demigod Nemessiah deemed their weapon making ability as threat. Through the use of dark rites and help from his father, the dark god Awekantanah, they released the giants imprisoned by the Terra, the earth goddess, centuries ago. To aid and protect her followers from this onslaught Phyri, the fire goddess, taught King Minanos how to mold diamonds and granite into powerful weapons. After countless hours of trials and battle testing Minanos still felt like his weapon still lacked the perfection he so desired; annoyed by his failure  he decided to brave the Great Forge one more time. The heat imitating from the forge was so intense that he had to shave his skin bare because he could no longer stomach the smell of his singeing hair. His head beaded with sweat as he melted down his great hammer hopefully for the last time. He carefully poured the melted mixture of both diamond and granite into the mold, and pressed it in a giant vice. That vice was designed in such a way that it amplified his already mythic strength by a thousand times. While the molten liquid cool he add his custom steel and bronze handled grip. Suddenly a great worry overwhelmed him.  

�Who would he pass this knowledge to?� he thought to himself.

Only the strongest of both mind and body should be chosen as king upon his death. He knew he had to make use of the brief moment of calm, because Gigas hasn't attacked his city in weeks. Minanos sent word to all the Minotaur males saying that a great competition was about to begin and only sixteen of the strongest would qualify. Word spread pretty quickly, and males from all over the Kingdom of Alms converged to his small City of Labyritha. Within one week of his announcement his kingdom was full drunken, unpolished warriors. He look upon the drunken crowd found me himself a little more than disgusted. At that moment he felt like there wasn't a single man worthy of being king. The mere sight of the drunken debauchery enraged him greatly and with deep burly tone he ordered them all to the center of the city.

�You all are a very interesting lot, I don't see a kings heart in any of you�, Minanos said in a highly annoyed tone.
�I can't afford wait any longer the games begin now!�
A loud sigh of disbelief erupted from the crowd.
�Surely you don't expect us to compete now we are not prepared� said a voice from the crowd.
�What better way to weed the weak from the strong?� stated Minanos �Meet at the Great Mound in ten minutes all of you�.