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I have changed, My truth is my own. Read this, and speak to me with yours.

12 Years Ago


            Smiles seem to cross my face many more times a day in this time of my life.  I drive home and I realize I am barely able to contain my laughter from being so incredibly happy.  This happiness is something my mouth wants to speak and all I can do is hope my eyes are watched instead of my voice heard.  My happiness comes from something I can barely comprehend yet.  But, I strive to none the less. 

            I look at the grudges I once held, and I can only look at the memory because I cannot feel those grudges any longer.  I think of people who have wronged either me or ones I love and care for, though I am saddened by their suffering I do not want to change anything for them.  I want them to change it.  I am asked what if there are more wrong doings then good.  I say bad and good are things we invented to coincide with our emotions, but that can only be taken as far as a single person for every person experiences it differently.  I see a “wrong doing” and then I see the reaction of the receiver is in the majority of the time completely receiving or negatively back at the giver.  I feel woe for such responses but then give welcome to them for I finally see for every single negative response it gives birth to the balance of a positive response somewhere.  No matter the action, it shall always be balanced back to being one and one.  But then that leads me to another point, how can we put numbers on the kind of balance that is beyond our plain of numbers and physicality?

            A balance that lives within every single fiber of the physical existence we live in is a balance that connects us all to everything.  Animals, rocks, plants, humans, and all other forms of our realm are connected through an eternal balance that is kept weather known by all or hidden.  I do not claim to see this monumental force that no one else can, we all can.  And we can take joy in seeing it; every single being can see beauty within another.  We have to only let ourselves. 

            My original point of happiness, one I feel within myself is something that fills me with these words but are only able to form if I let them flow through my finger tips and do not think of what comes next.  I have for most of my life lived within my mind, past, present, future, and the unknown.  I have lived in the past examining conversations, experiences that made me the way I am today.  Living in the future holds no ends for nothing is set in stone and I see so many possibilities within every choice, I relish in the sheer potential of everything.  I found it difficult for many years to control myself and not live entirely in the future waiting to see what came of time and me and well us.  The unknown has been another.  I cleared my mind.  I close my eyes in an attempt to release.  My mind over runs my free thinking more often then not and it merely shows no matter the progress I have made within myself thus far I have volumes upon volumes more to learn and understand.  I welcome it all.

 

Think, there is always a reason to smile.  No matter your life, no matter the hardships you’ve endured, I request a smile.  And if one is not provided then I will smile in its stead.