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Need some reviews on this piece! preferable if you write reviewson the actual post!

9 Years Ago


The air rushing past my face, the debris lacerating my cheeks oh so subtly, and my lungs screaming for sweet, sweet oxygen makes me open my eyes for the first time. The pressure of the fall makes each breath a painful torture, ironically keeping me conscious. I’ve seen those slow-motion falls in the movies one too many times; graceful, calm, and slow music playing in the background. This couldn’t be any more different. This is hell. All around me the world is changing, blasting itself into tiny crystal shards then reforming, my friends and dear ones disappearing with it. How I wish I could follow them into those timeless shards, to be immortalized with them forever in these crystalline structures and change eternally with the breeze, but it is not the case. I am Calypso, forced to watch idly by from my little desert island as life fades to memory and memory is soon gone with the wind. The breeze brings a soothing voice that whispers to me from those ageless stones, “Remember us”. Time is but a demon in my eyes.Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was in Kindergarten, constructing little towers on the beach without a care in the world? My impenetrable sand fortress stood against the tide, and kept my mind safe inside. Pounding after pounding the kingdom withstood, with me reinforcing the walls after every wave. I began to notice, though, how the water-sodden walls slouched. The shells that decorated the outside were pulled away into the depths of the ocean, never to be seen again. They were yearning to become one with the sea again, so that I may begin anew. I was invincible… for the time being. Alas, castles made of sand melt into the sea… eventually. As school life loomed ahead I was still stuck to my olds ways, astounded at everyone else’s’ ability to change with the times. Out with the blocks and in with the books. I was alone in my resistance to change, it would seem. As my world began to once again fall piece by piece, I looked desperately for someone, something to cling on to; someone, something, anything that could keep me from the horrendous, inevitable limbo for a second longer. I looked to my friends; they have already eagerly accepted their fate. I looked to my family; there’s nothing there. Alone, I struggled and fought with all that remained. All in vain. My last haven slowly succumbed to the sands of time. Hand void of anything, my free-fall began again. And as sure as I am that I will soon find another ledge to grasp onto and stop my free-fall, I am sure that a new schism shall see it gone and I will find myself plummeting once again into the eternal void of my mind. How could life be so cruel to this one, punishing it in a cycle that never ends? I see a tunnel with no light and nothing I can do will halt the train, even for a moment, for me to catch my breath, to adapt. Such is the way of things, I guess.