Of Writer's block, free writes, cues and other things... : Forum : Week 1: #freewrite #ten minute..

Day 1: #freewrite #ten minutes

11 Years Ago

I just woke up, and I don't feel fresh. Isn't that how sleep is supposed to make you feel? Rejuvenated, refreshed, renewed, and ready? Shouldn't I feel like the world is really not that bad, and when I make my way out of this bed I can deal with almost anything. I haven't had that feeling recently after sleep. Maybe the problem is that I sleep too much nowadays. I have holidays, and hence not that much to do. So I sleep, and sleep and then sleep some more. And when I wake its always there, this feeling of...guilt? I shouldn't have slept, I want to sleep more. There is this nagging anxiety that I have to rationalise away because the answer won't come to me easily. So I grope at this inadequate feeling I get, and I'm smarting from just the sheer amount of self disgust my body injects me with when I awake. When I'm over the initial grogginess, there is more than anything else an acute awareness of my body. My mouth is foul, and my face is oily and disfigured and my sides seem to be bulging out of my pajamas. Unsightly? I feel unsightly. More than I look it. I keep away from mirrors for hours, and then I spend hours infront of one. Overcompensation? Repression? Boom and bust phenomenon as far as I am concerned. And applying an agricultural metaphor to myself is hardly flattering but really that's all there is on my mind. Its always the actual wakefulness that makes the world better, so I don't kickstart to this inherent brilliance I apparently possess, but I discover it along the way. And then, I don't feel as inadequate as before. But the sleepiness, physical REAL sleepiness comes back as  before. Am I unhappy? Besides these irrational quarter hours of vague, rhetorical muted misery...no. I'm not exuberant, but I find satisfaction now and then. [Alarm goes off, ten minutes up]

Re: Week 1: #freewrite #ten minutes

11 Years Ago

I have posted it as it is. Some free writes are less productive as others. But the point is to keep at them :)

Please post your free writes as replies here. :)