Teen Life Forum Taking out pain

You can take out all your pain in talking. You can talk to people that you trust. I know that hepls me. And try not to cut... it will just get worse. 

And never keep it all in. It will only get worse adn then you will eventualy brake down. My opinion is to talk, write, draw, or even cry it all out. But never ever keep it in.

I don't have anyone to talk to really.... because most of my friends have their own problems and I don't want to add to their problems...... And I've learned not to keep it in.... I've done that.... and in the end I tried to comit suicide so I learned not to....

you can talk to me =)

I have a lot of experience with this..

So you can trust me 

Taking out pain. I'm an expert. I have been cutting for well over 5 years now. I have tried to stop but sadly it has become an addiction. One that I just can't seem to beat. Last night I said goodbye to a few people and tried to kill myself. I completely destroyed my arm but still couldn't hit the vein. I eventualy threw up and passed out.

This morning I woke up to see messages from Toxic and Jessie and Puppies and I relized how stupid i was. Toxic and jessie. Your messages broke my heart. I had no idea that it would effect you like that. And I am sorry that I hurt you. :(

I can't promise that I wont try again. But I can promise I will try not to with everything I have.

Holding in pain is the wrong thing to do. In the past it has ended with me having break downs. Attempting suicide. And well the list goes on.

To relive pain I cut. Although I know it is not the best way to do it. It helps. I know how bad that sounds but it does. I am trying to stop. i really am. But sometimes it gets to hard. So i do other things to limit my cutting to a minimal.

I write out all my feelings.

I go for a run/walk at night time when its to dark to see.

I look at the stars.

I smoke weed.

I drink.

Take pills.

I cry.

I talk it out to Toxic when I can.

I know it can be hard to talk about it. But sometimes its the best thing we can do. So if you ever need to talk you can talk to me. Or Toxic. I know we both have experiance with this.

Cutting is an addiction and I know a lot of people don't know that.... But I'm glad some people do understand that.... And suicide..... Isn't worth it..... Not saying that I haven't tried its just it hurts more people then most would realize....And thank you guys for saying I can talk to you.... It was really really nice and I appreciate it a lot.

-Rhiannon

I know suicide isn't worth it. It's never worth it. But it is hard to pull your self out of that frame of mind when your stuck in it.

And yes cutting is an addiction. And it is so hard to overcome. I'm 17 but was 12 when I started. Sometimes it seems impossible to stop. I have gone months without cutting before. And I get my hopes up and lose track of myself and it happens again. Its hard to stop. I'm wondering if it is impossible. But I don't know.

So instead of taking the blade. Instead of having another sleepless night. I am gonna have a joint and go to sleep ready for another day at trying to give up my addiction.

And your welcome :) this is why we made this group :)

hey, ive known a few cutters. some close to me some werent. well it make help to just let it all out, crying may help...but dont stop ur self, cry untill there is no more pain.  i know that sounds wierd, but ive told others to do that and its helped.

and please think about this for a second. if there is one thing ive learned is that well drugs, drinking, cutting, doing extreme things never solve the problem. they will just hurt you more in the future. please try to stop cutting. it doesnt help. my own cuzin has cut her self and she found the strength to stop aftr sooo long. she now regrets not stopping early. soo remember it wont solve your problem it just might make it worse...

Yeah well. You can't really know what it is like unless you have experianced it. And you can't know what the pain we feel is like either. Everyone is diffrent. Sometimes cutting is all we can think of doing. Because the blade becomes our comfort. I know it's not right to do it. And I always (Mostly) regret it. But when we are in that frame of mind. Almost nothing can break us out of it. Its like a trance.

 

Crying it out is a good idea. But sometimes you just can't cry. :) Its a good suggestion though. Thanks for getting involved with the convo. I will say though, that when I first started cutting. I loved the blade. Now I just see it as a way out. Things change over time. And the biggest thing we will come to regret is our scars. But its hard to think about it now.

 

 

Yea and the scars we have will never fade..

It will always remind us of what we did and why we did it. It impossible not to forget. Everyday when i wake up i see my scars and think about it. Sharp objects were my only friend untill recently. I loved to cut untill i was bored, and then i would lie. I would say i scratched myself on the stairs or soemthing. 

When a person starts cutting its like a drug... we can't stop. Some have the strenght and some don't. I am proud to saw that i stopped cutting for a month now :) But I have problem everyday and i need to get it out somehow. I am starting to use pills for the pain it causes me. I know its wrong but i can't stop...

How to you stop doing something that is bad but help you? Help please.

I have been there. I started popping pain pills a little while ago. I still do on occasions. I stoped and started cutting again. I am not sure whats worse. Poppin pills or cutting. I would rather pop pills cause it doesn't leave me with any scars. And i love been spun out. I am really not someone that can help with stopping it. :( sorry.

 

I hope people will be able to help with this. Maybe offer some suggestions. I started smoking to stop cutting. It helped for a while. But then I made the mistake of cutting again. So I started popping pills instead of cutting. It helped. But then I stopped popping pills and the urge to cut came back even stronger. So I cut. And then I cut again. Now the pills seem like a better way for me to go. Of course smoking some weed is even better. But it makes me paranoide. And getting paranoide when you suffer from panic attacks isnt very good. I wish i could help.

 

Maybe you can try to fill the addiction of popping pills with another addiction. I'm not sure what though. Lets work through some suggestions. We might find something we can both agree on that wont be to dangerous :) And will help take your mind off the other addictions.

Well I kinda went suicidal last night T_T and now I'm gonna get yelled at by my friends and then one of them is gonna cry *sigh* I hate making them mad...... and i've never pill popped before I don't know it's just I dont like doing that..... I enjoy having pain I guess it soothes me...

I always tried not to tell my friends. I did tell a few when I tried to kill myself the other night. But before that I never told anyone. To many tears and to much sympathy. Its like seeking attention except i never wanted the attention.

 

I always liked the pain to. But i loved losing the blood. It makes me feel so strung out and dizzy yet so alive and happy. Thats why I started on the pills. It has a simular effect.

 

I hope your doing better. I know how hard those times can be. And how fucked up everything else can seem. You should see it as a break through that you didn't try anything. You went suicidal but your still here with us. Congrads on that.

 

Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer. But what was going through your head at the time? When i tried the other night all that was going through my head was that Life wasn't worth it.

Well my friends find out one way or antother an It's best to just tell them =/

And what was going through my head..... was that I felt alone that there was no point that I would die one day anyways so why hold off the inevitable....  and that my existence only made everyones life harder...

I just felt like life wasn't worth living. I didn't feel alone. Or anything like that. Thanks for telling me. :)

 

Well I went to the councillors today. She recomended me to a Psychiatrist. I am freaking out. They want to put me on drugs. My councillor said "The psychiatrist will give you a mental avaluation. Then will decide what drugs will best help you" -.- Thats when I freaked out and started to have major panic.

 

What if they find that I am unstable and they committ me :(

I think they just want to help you. The drugs are meant to keep you calm so you don't feel the need to explore other avenues of relief. There are many people are in the same boat as you. If they committed everyone who suffered from depression, at least half the people in America would be in asylums. I think you should try the drugs they give you. Please don't be afraid. I know I have very little experience with this sort of thing, but I'd like to help.

But comiting a person is just like taking their personality away. I  know that cutting, pills, and writing is wrong but comiting someone is not really plesent.

I just think that some people just to need to talk it out or find their own solution. If people just go to a counciler and doctors all the time they will get sick of them. It would be better to find a friend or some one close to you. And as for the cutting and taking pills you can fins a better adiction. I am trying to fins one for me. So far bad lucky but i still keep on seaching. So my point of view is that let the people that have problems sort them out. Don't force them in to doing something that they will hate. :)

You don't need to be committed because you're suffering from depression. You don't have to see therapists all the time as long as you do what they ask you to do, including taking medication that can help. I'd sure as hell wouldn't like to be stuck in an asylum, or have to visit some person all the time to talk about my feelings...or whatever they do. But you've got to consider your options. If it's a choice between seeing this person over and over again, or continuing to feel horrible...I know what I would choose.

Okay well my rents made me go to a therapist once to see if I was  "mentaly okay" and I kinda walked out the second she asked me if I cut.... and being commited basically does make it so that you kinda are blank which isnt right...... no being should try and have another being tamed people should accept others with all their problems and ways to take out pain...... (some odd reason i feel really off topic hmmm)

I do agree with you to an extent. I think for what you're dealing with you don't need to be committed. Asylums are meant to be for people who cannot function in society at all and need to be cared for and have medical and psychiatric assistance at all times. You don't need that, so they wouldn't commit you.

Though, if a therapist asks someone in the first session if they cut...I think that's too soon. The idea behind these kinds of sessions is that a kind of trust is developed. There's not a lot a therapist can do before they've earned that. Maybe, if your parents really want you to see a therapist, you should try another one.

I'm not claiming to be an expert, by the way. I'm just putting in my two cents.