The Howie Fan Club Forum How Famous is the Howie

Well today his Fan Club made one of the most popular groups (for the second time, mind you). So really how famous is the Howie? How big will his group grow?

How about you Howie groupies (yes, Howie, you now have your own groupies)? Can you spread the word of how great Howie's stories are?

Now, I know we will have to put up with some attitude. There may be a few hotel rooms trashed and a few chicks (Howie name for them not mine) claiming he has fathered their babies but we will stick by his adjustment into celebrity. Even when he hits the ritzy alcohol rehab (we all knew that was going to happen anyway only maybe not as ritzy) we need to be loyal because after all He is the Howie.

A note to Mouse - you still don't need to worry about too many of his groupies. Most of them were around when Rocky Horror came out and some of them are male and think it is cool to display double bird flippers. Yes a few are young and female but I think he still has a level to go before the baby claims come about. Just travel with him like Paul McCartney's first wife and you won't have any groupie problems (except make sure he doesn't have any pot in his suitcase when he does a book signing in Japan).

Sunny

I may love The Howie, but I fear The Howie even more. I've read enough of his work to have a good healthy fear of the new tortures he could inflict upon his enemies. I'm happy The Howie is an ocean away and currently being tamed (or at least controlled) by Mouse (aka M).

So I'm now THE Howie (see I told Sunny I was being objectified)! I am constantly astounded by the fact that people are continuing to join the group - flabbergasted even. I thought when Sunny started this up that I might get a couple of my closer friends on her joining up and ribbing me about it... but 22, that's outrageous and very, very flattering.

One thing Kali fails to realise is that as with Satan / Simon Cowell / Bill Gates / Richard Branson and David Beckham... my power is growing and I'm pretty sure I'll soon be able to walk on water and if that happens... I'm coming over there.

Just imagine Godzilla but in Howie form... staggering isn't.

Be afraid people be very afraid... and slightly turned on.

;-)

If Howie does start to invade people's bodies (in "the devil in the Exorcist way", not in "the guy I met in a bar last night and now his shorts are on my floor" way), become psychic, astroproject, walk on water, or start being able to perform any other Satanic tricks refer to the forum entry title "How to deal with a Howie - Standard Procedure". Chantal Mirman and I have found these to be the best way if you find yourself in close proximity to him (within a 1,000 miles or so. Metric users figure it out for yourself.)

Oh, I forgot. He could take a plane or a ship across the pond to invade us. Hopefully the security systems for Homeland Security will be up to par. However, since that system has failed us in the past please go to the "Standard Procedure" section now. You can never be too careful especially when it comes to a Howie.

With regards to the last statement about Homeland Security... I direct you to a comment I left on Chantal-lise's review:

I am already well aware of the implications of breaching Homeland Security but I thought you, of all people, would be quick enough on the uptake to realise that I am not a guy who takes risks. Why breach Homeland Security when they will just open the doors and let me stride right in? As we speak there are men in black suits and sunglasses reading little tit-bits of HoWiE literature and even the mostly manly of them are feeling just a little bit gay towards me - well, they're not made of wood are they?

Feel the power, people, feel the power... ;-)

Are you referring back to the "Cute" thing that the Pauls mentioned about you. And by the way, even though they reviewed one of my pieces (that happened to be called "The C**k") extremely well. They didn't ask for a piece of my work even though I begged them to.

Ah, I will say the 'cute' comment unnerved me a little lol...

I can't believe they didn't ask for any more of your work, don't worry I shall have words - we'll have Agent Smiths reading your work up and down the country. Just to let you know I enjoyed 'The C**k'.... oh wait, that sounds wrong. What I mean is I thought 'The C**k' was great... no, that's no better, I was really into 'The C**k'? No... damn you for concocting tales with weird titles... oh Lordy.. conCOCKting? Jesus wept... ::cry::

I like your stuff let's leave it at that.

I don't know if the enjoyment of your writing is worth it. We may have to commit you in spite of it.

But then...

But then...

We can read your daily journaling.

"I sat in the dayroom for many hours drinking coffee and playing chess with Louie. Now Louie is a nice chap. I just wish he would make his presence known by appearing occasionally."

That sort of stuff...

Ah, maybe we should chance it a little while longer. I want to read the end of "The Chronicles..."

You never know I may go all Agatha Christie on you and disappear without a trace leaving you mourning for the end of my novel...

...mind you, then you'll just go and find something else to read... perhaps not then. ;-)

The problem is, I'm looking at 'TUCOTMMF' and thinking to myself, the more I look at it, the worse it seems, lol. I'm editing more and more and it's looking worse and worse...

LOOK OUT EVERYONE - The HoWiE is spiralling into crisis!!

And I've just drop a chicken mayonnaise baguette into my lap as well... aww f**k.