The Joke Room : Forum : The talking dog

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The talking dog

10 Years Ago

I once heard a funny story about a talking dog. A man read an ad in the newspaper that said “Talking dog for sale.” He knew that it wasn’t possible but he was curious who would actually advertise it. He was curious, so he found the address, walked up to the house, and knocked on the door. When the man answered the door, he said, very sarcastically, “Yeah, I came about your talking dog?”   The owner said, “Okay. He is tied up in the back yard. Go look at him. If you like him, come back around here, and knock again if you want him.”   The man went to the back of the house and saw a little dog tied up and looked at him. He didn’t look like much of a dog, so he said out loud, “Hah! You are a talking dog! Huh?” With that he turned to walk away, but the dog said, “Yeah, I’m the talking dog.”   The man was amazed! “You really are a talking dog?”   “Of course I am,” the dog said. “I’ve been talking since I was a pup.”   “That’s incredible!” the man said. “You really are a talking dog! How is that possible?”   “Yes, I’m a talking dog,” the dog said. “The problem began when the government found out I could talk and they drafted me.”   “What? You were in the army?” the man asked.   “No, I was drafted by the CIA and sent to be a spy dog for the government,” the dog said.   “Wow! You were a spy dog? That’s incredible!” the man said.   “Yes, I was a spy dog. They took me overseas and put me in a room with suspected spies,” the dog said. “Everyone talks freely around a dog because they know dogs don’t talk. Later, I would tell all their secrets to my supervisor and they would arrest the spies.”   “Wow! That’s unbelievable. You are a talking dog and a spy dog. You are a national here, too! But how did you end up here?” the man asked.   “Well, after about 10 years, I told my supervisor I didn’t want to be a spy dog anymore. I told them I wanted to return to the U.S., get married, and raise a family with my own pups.”   “So they sent you back and this man bought you? Wait just a minute. I’ll be right back,” the man said to the dog. He hurried back to the front of the house and knocked on the door again.   The owner answered and said, “So you saw the dog?”   “Yes,” the man said excitedly. “He really is a talking dog! He told me everything! How he began talking when he was a puppy, how he was drafted by the CIA, went overseas working as a spy dog, and how he helped capture many spies. Yes, he told me everything! How much do you want for that dog?”   The owner thought for just a minute and said, “Ah, ten dollars.”   “What!” the man said. “Ten dollars! Why would you only want ten dollars for a dog like that?”   The owner answered, “That dog is such a liar!”