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Professor McFizzel’s Wonderful and Wacky Weird Way Of Teaching And Learning For Boys And Girls

10 Years Ago


"A short read of the beginning to my children tale. I thought it might bring at least a little smile to someone."

Greeting and Salutations. I am Professor Gladly Dwluber McFizzel. I’m glad you stopped in it makes me tingle with excitement to know you are here to hear my fabulous story about two little children who didn’t think their life was going very well.
    First there is Egbert Unanamus Yogurt Bean and his sister Cecelia Flower Geranium Bean but they never went by these names. The boy was called Yogurt by his sister and his sister was called Flower by her brother. They were the only ones to ever call themselves anything so they could very well call themselves whatever they please.
Yogurt and Flower lived in a house that should have been demolished by a big bulldozer centuries ago but that sort of thing cost too much money. Yogurt and Flower lived with their Grate-grate-grate grandfather who miraculously lived longer than their grandpa their grate grandpa the grandpa after that. This was most unfortunate because the Bean children didn’t think this grandpa so great at all. In fact he was the most crankiest, meanest, selfish, grumpy, hateful old grate-grate-grate grandpa the world had ever seen. But they were stuck with him…
    This many times grate grandpa who they nicknamed Crankygrum, never told them why they lived with him or where their parents were. He only said ten worlds and those where: Get, lost, nasty, young, I, want breakfast, dinner, lunch, none-o-your-buinzes. The last he always said in a low mumble so it sounded like one word.
    The Bean children were in a bad way. They’d been that way since their very first memory till the day my story starts. When Yogurt was ten and Flower just turned nine.
Yogurt is a very forlorn, skinny looking boy with a pale face, black eyes and black hair covering the top half of his face.
Flower still has some of her baby chub and looks healthier than Yogurt, she has messy brown hair all cut up in choppy chunks with the garden shears.
Unlike her brother she has bright green eyes and dimples when she smiled which is often despite the gloomy atmosphere of the disintegrating house.

    Now although this is depressing way to start a good story I promise you this story has danger! Adventure! A sword fight! Explosions! Mystery! Romance( mild enough for young listener)! Animals! Comedy! And Flying Pigs! And every one knows no story is completely without a little bit of magic. Because magic is what takes the words I tell you and turns them into imagination. Yes, my story of young Yogurt and Flower has magic too.
    Lets begin at the beginning.
Now I think it was about two years, three months, 14 days, 8 hours and hold it…5 minutes ago. Yes that was about the time. Flower was just putting the cabbage and water soup on the table for Yogurt and Crankygrum.
    “Nasty lunch.” grumbled Crankygrum using two of the ten words he knew.
The meal was revolting. It consisted of whatever Flower could dig up. This cabbage came from the burnt garden and was boiled whole with a couple of bare bones, a cook book, and a piece of paper that according to Crankygrum said dinner.