The fallen Forum Help...

I just... I don't know what to do anymore. Half of my friends are cutting themselves, and I really want to do it as well. I'm becoming desperate for a way to escape from everything, and am actually contemplating suicide. I'm being yelled at everyday, and it seems like everywhere I go I'm getting in trouble, even on here. My teachers are mad at me, too. All I want to do is cry anymore. My depression is getting worse by the day, and my wanting to die is increasing along with it. But my friends are why I'm still alive. I'm being called names, and rumors from elementary school are still following me through out high school, and more are being created everyday. My brother is smoking Marijuana, and I have to keep it a secret from everybody. I feel like I'm about to explode. I feel like a failure, and I'm struggling to keep myself alive. I haven't been truly happy for several years now, since my real dad left, and I forgot what it's like to be truly happy. People don't want to be around me anymore. I don't want to bother people with my problems, though. Even the cat doesn't want to be around me! *cries harder* I just... I don't know where to go or what to do anymore. Honestly, I don't care what happens to me anymore. For all I care I could just die in the middle of nowhere. My brother offered for me to smoke with him, and I almost accepted, but I didn't want to get in trouble with my mom. The other day, my science teacher was mad at the class and made everybody call home, and I was shaking when I called, and I messed up my own home phone number three times before I finally got it right. 

Please, please, PLEASE don't hurt or kill yourself. Life gets so much better after high school. Talk to your counselor, call a suicide hotline, or look up someone in your local community that can help you. This number may have some answers as to who in your community can help give you relief:

dun worry yourself non rumours are for children XP Besides, these people picking on you are all just blind to the awsome person theyre acctually talking to and are delusional that theyre talking to someone ealse, just remind yourself that. they can think what they want of you but in the end you are you and thats wonderful! so please dont throw your future away because it is going to get better and its meant just for you!

What you do is up to you. All people can do is give you choices, influences, ideas, but in the end, only you can make the final decisions. I'm not here to sugarcoat anything, and I'm not saying they're right either. But here's the truth. Life is like a roulette. Every day, every minute, every second, you gamble. Sometimes you're lucky, sometimes you're not. People can't take the loss, thinking they'll never win, and find their own way out. But those that continue playing, know the stakes. It's all fair game, win or lose. I can't promise you that tomorrow will be better. But I can promise you this. You are strong. Those who are surrounded by all that and still has not fallen, is strong. Continue to spin the wheel, and luck will come to you, or stop playing and stop the losses. What you have is something special. Not many people can see the world in black and white. But now you see gray. Stop it. Return to black and white, there can be no gray. You know what's right and wrong. Embrace it. And one more corny metaphor/simile. At the bottom of Pandora's box, lies the only thing everyone has while spinning the wheel of life, hope. Hope for the better tomorrow, hope to be lucky, hope that you will live. Discard that hope, and you will be left with nothing. Thanks for listening to someone like me. Now remember, it's your life, your decision, your own free will.

Don't give up, Wolf! I know it seems hard right now, but things will get better if you believe that they will. Ignore the names and the rumors. They're just a bunch of words with no meaning, and do not subscribe you at all. They were just made to make the person saying them feel better about themselves, but really it only makes them look like jerks. You know and I know that nothing they say are true. And everyone make mistakes. We're all humans, meaning no one is perfect. No one has the right to judge you because they're no better than you or me. You are such a great person, and everyone would miss you terribly if you died. Please just hang in there a little longer.

Please don't give in. I know its hard because I have been there. No one deserves that pain and I hope everything gets better. I was a cutter for three years I now haven't cut since the beginning of the school year. About 9 or 10 weeks I have been clean and I struggle everyday with it. I know that it isn't worth it. I have tried to kill myself and Just think about the pain you would cause others. I know it doesn't seem like anyone would care but they would. You ever need to talk just message me. 

Just think of the future, and keep writing. You are strong and brave. I know this because you've  been able to open up about your problems, and that you need help. I don't know what grade you're in, but the years will go by, and trust me, college will be so much better. I'll be heading there next year, and I truly believe that. All my siblings who have gone there before me have said such awesome things about how they're living their lives.Just think, ten years from now, you can look back and say: "I'm glad I didn't kill myself. I went through a lot of hell, but you know what? That's all in past tense, and I can only fly up from here."Keep faith.You are loved.You are beautiful.There is hope.*hugs*I'm here if you ever want to talk. :)