Unreal Reality Forum afterlife

this is the opening to what i hope will be my first novel. It is about a boy, Peter who manages to transport himself to heaven and he gains knowledge while he is in heaven. He manages to transfer this power to the real Earth world and he then becomes an outcast while a bitter friend, Jack gets jealous and turns the public against his former friend. Turning his friend bitter and twisted like himself. Peter manages to fight it and with the help of his friends manage to get the public behind him.
The link is -
I would love to hear your thoughts on it.