Writer's Cafe Mentorship (WCM) : Forum : READ ME!!!


READ ME!!!

16 Years Ago


This thread is designed for you to post links to your works that you wish to have reviewed by the group and also to help launch the piece gain recognition from the entire site. I ask that the poems you add have 3 or less reviews posted. Also, in the near future, I will add ten new pieces, per week, posted as a piece by me encouraging the Cafe to read and review your work. So keep this thread going, but note you can only post a piece ONCE. So here is your chance to get reviews that you deserve and that are long over due. ONLY Writer's Cafe Mentorship members can post in here and expect their work to be presented weekly to the Cafe.

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Where do we go?

Where are we at? And.......where do we go?
Am I right? Am I wrong? And.....how will I know?
Complications and complexities, memories of her lying right next to me
So close our souls connected and I could taste her breath on me
It's a shame I didn't know then that she would be the death of me
You think you know it all, it's a shame you never saw the best of me
I understand why you left, you were disappointed with the rest of me
But now I'm alone and just broken with no one to clean up this mess of me
I never claimed to be perfect, but it seems that's what was expected of me
I just wanted you to be honest and loyal and somewhat respectful of me
But the scent of your skin and taste of your lips left me feeling rather exceptionally
But I know I'll have to let go of you at some point eventually
I just pray when its over that you'll always remember me
And just exactly what it is that my babygirl meant to me
My demons on the inside destroyed the angel Heaven sent to me
I hope you never meant to hurt me, atleast not intentionally
Do you force a fake smile and cringe at the mention of me?
If you saw me would you smile and wave or pay no attention to me?
Would you proceed to ignore? Or treat me like before?
Would you run to me like the waves crash to the shore?
Is it forever and always or is it simply no more?
My emotions are wounded by her motions and movements
A love that seemed strong is now slowly diminishing
I told you I loved you it's a shame you weren't listening
And he thinks to himself is she laying there missing him?
Does she remember laying intertwined, laying there kissing him?
Promises of a future that quickly turned into dust
Dreams and hopes were destroyed by mistrust
I'm scared that it's love cause I know it's not lust
I put myself out there and now it's for what?
Where are we at? And.......where do we go?
Am I right? Am I wrong? And.....when will I know?

..........................................................................

Too Many Problems

Too little answer to too many problems
Drown them in liqour and simply dissolve 'em
Cause for 25 years I simply can't solve 'em
So I put 'em on tracks and let the DJ revolve 'em
With mid-level intelligence, no education from college
What I lack in experience I make up in knowledge
One day I'll be famous just like grandmama called it
I'm starting to shine while still rather unpolished
Everyday on these corners kids lives get demolished
Heartache and hardship, no s**t get accomplished
Enjoy everyday cause not another one's promised
Morning and nighttime, all day always honest
If you ain't down with truth than you better get on it
Sit up and get up, I spit up the words
It's gon be some s**t like you've never heard
Magic with adjectives, the noun and the verbs
Spit it so smooth to get the chick with the curves
Just keep it real or you'll get on my nerves
Show no respect and you'll get kicked to the curb
Keep the truth on my chest while I swang and I swerve
Cause I drink and I smoke whenever the urge
Must face everyday with strength and with courage

..........................................................................................

4's and 2's

Noun 4 noun and verb 4 verb
Sound 4 sound and word 4 word
Pound 4 pound the boy's absurd
Sound 4 sound until I know it's heard
Rhyme 4 rhyme and line 4 line
My mind's design is to be divine
Tooth 4 tooth and eye 4 eye
Truth 4 truth and lie 4 lie
Tear 4 tear and cry 4 cry
Year 4 year and try 4 try
Blood 4 blood til all us die
From east 2 west and north 2 south
From brain 2 tongue and mind 2 mouth
From up 2 down and in 2 out
From fake 2 real and trust 2 doubt
From ups 2 downs and rise 2 fall
From short to tall and great 2 small
From door 2 door and wall 2 wall
Come more and more, come one 2 all

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Here is a link to a poem on which I would appreciate much criticism:

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Kim

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Please review the following poems
Silent Scream


One Horrid Day


Burden


Thank you, Kim

Read me. Review me. Make me grow!

16 Years Ago


Hi,
I'd like to get feedback on my short story "Ice Cream Man"



I welcome constructive critcism and am not intimidated by candid commentary. Be sure to point out any weaknesses, such as transition/flow, writing style, POV, etc.
Thank you!
Leticia

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Guess I didn't do that right....

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


I would really appreciate reviews/criticism on the following pieces:

Liberty


This Is America


Punchline


Thanks in advance!
-Erin

[no subject]

16 Years Ago


I would really appreciate some reviews on this following poems:

The Unrequited Couple In The Sepia Toned World



The Candy Coated Truth



We Are Bitter Rivals, Whose Vibes Wouldn't Even Bend Glass


[no subject]

16 Years Ago


Ok here are some

Stories







Poems





Kate