Is there something wrong with me?

A poem about reflection

Is There Something Wrong With Me?

Sitting up in bed
reflecting on the past
Observing my single life
and how I am the last
Friends all have partners
I’m victim to their love
Having to witness every second
claiming they are sent from above

I’m there to comfort the arguments
I’m here if your alone
I’m anywhere you want me to be
Even if your spiteful words I don’t condone

They are only in the moment
when your anger is at it’s peak
Listening to friends slate eachother
Then be totally in love within a week

Now I’m always the friend
the third wheel on a date
The person you feel sorry for
Who wants to stay out late
But your lives together change you
And now its early nights
The only time I see you
Is after one of your fights

Then I’m here to comfort the arguments
I’m here if your alone
I’m anywhere you want me to be
Even if your spiteful words I don’t condone

I continue to reflect
looking at pictures from the past
Wondering what I do
to make my relationships never last
Perhaps I’m too needy
wanting to hold you everyday
Is it a sin to tell you I love you
When you make me feel that way
I observe the long lost smile
I rarely choose to show
Always being the dumped
Never letting go

Do my friends wish me happiness
Do they really care
For I’m the person they come to
In any time of despair

I am the listener
the comforter
the blend
The fixer
the negotiator
I’m just Ashley
The vacant friend 

I long for a time when I can say
I’m busy this time around
I have my girlfriend over
The one that I have found
I can’t be there to help with this argument 
I’m sorry I’m not alone
I can’t come to meet you
Don’t spite my friend
I’m hanging up the phone

But I don’t think I could do that for I am just too nice
My life is incomplete without love
I’m always the sugar and I crave for the spice
It breaks my heart to be lonely
a tear drop has come loose
The thoughts of my lonely life
Acting as a noose

So is there something wrong with me??
I’m everything and more
I will give you my entire world
Be the person I adore
Just let me taste love one more time
Its sweetness I do crave
I’m willing to open up my love
Even the heartbreak I will brave

One day is all I want
just to feel this way again
And Ashley blacks world
you will surely reign

Author's Note

I wrote this whilst looking through some old pictures

please be honest as always

yes its me in the picture

Reviews

[Tarik]

This is so touching. After reading this i locked myself up in the bathroom for about two minutes, before i returned to write down this review. I can't explain. It's as if you've encapsulated my feelings here. I feel the same; so lonely, so misunderstood. My fears are nearly the same as yours. I'm afraid that one day my best friend will get married and forget me, and then, i'll remain all alone under the shades of my languid thoughts.

[M.Babu]

Sitting up in bed
reflecting on the past
Observing my single life
and how I am the last...

Friends all have partners
I’m victim to their love.
Now I’m always the friend
the third wheel on a date
The person you feel sorry for
Who wants to stay out late...

Perhaps I’m too needy
wanting to hold you everyday
Is it a sin to tell you I love you
When you make me feel that way...
These parts really had a remarkable flow! You have just entered my favorite authors list Ashley! This is real stuff and it spoke really well to me. I'm sure it's touched many others too.
This piece whatever inspired it must be really strong! The emotion it conveys is really sincere and overwhelming. This is true undeniable inspiration and pieces like this deserve the compliment 'masterpiece'. I don't often give that compliment so understand that everything of this poem is excellent. FLAWLESS rather. Great structure (paragraphs were the right length). Consistent rhyme throughout ensured a streamlined read. Entertaining and real as everyone can relate to this at some point in their lives. Wording was perfect chose well what was needed. This is air tight stuff Ashley...Pieces like these are why i started writing. AMAZING FLAWLESS WORK....STRAIGHT TO MY FAVORITES it goes! Masterpiece!

[Shelby]

I can't tell you how often I've written about this subject, though never quite as eloquently as you. This is heartbreaking, endearing, anguishing, etc, etc. I loved the lines:

"Perhaps I’m too needy
wanting to hold you everyday
Is it a sin to tell you I love you
When you make me feel that way"


It's the same sentiments I feel, too, that something must be wrong with me to cause people to stray away. The idea that being affectionate and showing your love could be a turnoff sounds ridiculous, yet you've captured the emotion so many experience, the inadaquecy and incompleteness. I also liked the back story, that you came up with this while looking through old pictures. It adds to the melancholy and reminiscent nature of this piece. The picture, too, fit into the emotion, the loneliness, the outsider looking in , the coldness of being by yourself. The despondency is very touching and I commend you for your work.

[Quinn Blackburn]

Certainly a sentiment that many can relate to all too well at some point in life! All of society screams at us that we are not complete when we are alone, and I believe that too many people get into, or stay in, toxic relationships because of this perception. In my experience, when we stop looking for love, and concentrate on being content with and loving ourselves, emerging into our true purpose in life, and embracing the solitude as a gift... everything else just falls into place. All the waiting, loneliness, etc is well worth it though for the reward of the right person ...who comes along in their own time.

When we are on the outside, it's hard not to envy those in relationships because we can see much more clearly that the "bad" times in a successfull relationship are really insignificant compared to all the good. All of which is evidence that a good and loving relationship doesn't bring us eternal bliss, and it is always work... just work well worth the effort. You've captured all of this tangled emotional situation extremely well in this lyric wordcrafting! Set to the right music, this could be a very popular song. Honest, perceptive, evocative, human... excellent work!

[Libby]

Really good, and I can relate a lot. So, no, there's nothing too wrong with you. You're just selfless, which is not a bad characteristic.

[Kat24]

hi,
really good. Kat24

[trainwreck]

This is very, very good. I was really, really touched. I feel the same way sometimes.

[HopelesslyDevoted]

i agree, i don't think there is anything wrong with you either. this is a great poem, and it is always good to self examine through writing.

[jessica Wray]

no there is nothing wrong with u at all

[Shiningwolf]

You did a very nice job with this one. But I am sorry that happened!