Hold These Hands Of Mine

A Poem About Torment

Hold These Hands Of Mine

Stare lovingly into my eyes 
breathe your last breath 

As I suffocate you 

Strangulate your soul

harness your dying emotions

fall for this demon in front of you.

Walk beside me as I wonder

Staring into a bleak, basic scene

feel me drag you 

pulling you under

to the place where darkness spawns.

Stare upon my knuckles 

hitting you harder with each blow

fracturing bone enforcing discipline

lay in your pool of love.

Stare into nothingness

earth surrounds you 

love is the death of you

helpless to help yourself.

Author's Note

My poetry is somewhat changing but is it for the better?

Please give honest reviews as always

And thank you for reading

Reviews

[xXxCynicalWarsxXx]

You're poems are definitely changing into something agressive and more dark than the norm, but everything changes in its own time. And your poems never change for the worse, always fro the better, because you are growing through, holding fast, and as you share what you feel inside, you mature beyond compare. Times like these, I think of the words that are here in ink, and think to myself, "Is it wonderful to put what you feel down? To have the world at your fingertips?" As the poem itself is intense, and as the words spoken are indeed changing, they still hold that force and will inside of you: To write, to get it out, to love. Very inspiring and very heartfelt to the core of this being. Love it!

100/100

[Mika Franolich]

The "pool of love" line was the strongest. I felt a little more rhyming could have helped give this poem a better flow (generally my favorite poems are actually rhymeless, but due to the difference in lines in each stanza and other changes at least a little rhyming would have given it more of a consistency).
The tone here is brutal. It really assuages your emotions. Taking something as alluring and divine as love and exploring the dark side to it is highly effective. It reminds people that a b*****d remains a b*****d no matter what color you try to add to his life. No amount of faith can stop abuse. This is a very powerful piece that manages both to prompt ones emotions and thoughts, a rare thing.

[{A}shley {B}lack @-;-]

Thank you again for your review this is what I mean by going back and changing poems possibly a rewrite would you like to colab on this perhaps write a piece from the victims perspective

[GamingGal]

A friend of mine used to suffer from an abusive relationship with the person she was in love with. The sad part is that it was her love for him that made her continue to put up with the blows and words he dealt out. That's what I'm getting from this poem.

My favorite part was calling her blood her love.

[PJ]

agree with xXxCynicalWarsxXx I like this side of you a lot better seems you have a love interest in your life and its coming out in your work makes me wonder who she is that can inspire such an amazing poem ...

[freelancejouster]

i can really see the destructiveness of love in your words, here.