Dying From the Inside Out

Dying From the Inside Out

A Poem by .mate.feed.kill.repeat.
"

nightmare

"

first it’s the spiders
then it’s the ticks
if somehow i fall asleep,
all i see is death
i can’t eat
it hurts
and i choke trying to swallow
i feel like i’ll puke
with every bite i take
my body is being
rejected by my brain
and i can’t live
much longer
like this

© 2008 .mate.feed.kill.repeat.


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Author's Note

.mate.feed.kill.repeat.
Arachnid: four pairs of segmented legs and a body composed of a cepholothorax and an abdomen.
Unfortunately, spiers, ticks, mites, and scorpions fit this description.

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Reviews

Interesting how you wrote your poem with more imagery than a story line...not like most poets around here. Many people feel the need to make a story or a plot line and sprinkle some adjectives here and there but I liked this better. Using the words to show what you wanted not tell. To be honest I think this could be a little longer but it's fine just as it is. Spiders freak me out so I thought this was a little creepy. Nice work.

Brette

Posted 15 Years Ago


This is very well expressed I like this great emotional piece here well written.

Posted 15 Years Ago


awesome.

100 points.


I liked the part where there was choking and dying best.



Posted 15 Years Ago



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299 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on June 13, 2008

Author

.mate.feed.kill.repeat.
.mate.feed.kill.repeat.

WI



About
I have written over 400 poems and short stories. I post almost all of them directly to my profile on FictionPress. http://www.fictionpress.com/~matefeedkillrepeat I rarely update this thing. Hon.. more..

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