Questions

Questions

A Poem by Ashleigh

My Heart sinks

With every ring

My tears fall

Every time I hear that recorded message.

Did I really push you that far away?

 

I didn’t mean for this to happen

I can’t control my heart

Who I fall for is not an art

It’s just the way I am.

Can you really blame me?

 

Every time you hang up

It just hurts more

Knowing that I could

Never have you again.

Is this what breaks my heart?

© 2010 Ashleigh


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Featured Review

This is an interesting poem. You show a lot of emotion in it, and it's very effective in your message. I think you can do away with some pronouns though, like "it" in line 1 and "they" in line 3. It's effective in repetition for your rhetoric, but it reads a little awkward. If you want to keep them, I would suggest a line-break or comma before them, for grammatical sense, or ease to the reader. You have a lot of potential. This is a good poem. Keep it up!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is an interesting poem. You show a lot of emotion in it, and it's very effective in your message. I think you can do away with some pronouns though, like "it" in line 1 and "they" in line 3. It's effective in repetition for your rhetoric, but it reads a little awkward. If you want to keep them, I would suggest a line-break or comma before them, for grammatical sense, or ease to the reader. You have a lot of potential. This is a good poem. Keep it up!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1 Review
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Added on May 14, 2010
Last Updated on June 1, 2010
Tags: Questions, Poetry, Depressing
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Author

Ashleigh
Ashleigh

Winnipeg, Canada



About
I'm 17. I love to read and write. I'm scottish more..

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