Shadows

Micro story/ tale, when you read it you will want to read more!

It was dark, the wind was howling. Jason wanted to find the quickest way home he could. Tonight, instead of taking the long winding cobbled road through the village, he would cut through the country lanes. As he left from work and began to walk home, the rain began to come down. Harder and harder. Pata Pata on the leaves around him. The darkness encroached around him as the lights of the village became faded and distant. As he turned the corner, he looked out across the field. It was pitch black. The shadows seemed to move in the tree's as the wind howled harder and harder. It was at this point that Jason's eye was caught. Out in the field, a lonesome tree stood, it's shadow appearing to move. Jason turned again, it was coming closer now, or was it merely a figment of his imagination. He continued to walk, just a little faster. As he turned one last time he realized the shadow was edging closer. He began to run, the shadow ran with him. His breath evaporating in the air instantly like a steam engine on a crisp winter morning. Panic swept over him, and yet the shadow grew closer with every step he took.

Author's Note

Please leave any constructive feedback, it all help. Thanks!

Reviews

[Atram Dace]

Hmmmm, the story here has a good horror fear around it especcially with the shadows and the darkness. Then again, the level of horror is not sufficient, to be honestly said. Firstly is the fact that the words darkness and shadows are repeated over and over. Okay, Iḿ not only suggesting to sue other similar words but rather I want you to animate the darkness and the shadow. personify them, make them move. Don just say that darkness encroached him but show us how?

You can say, "He look back to see a dark spot, a shade at a spot of light. It moved, almost wobbled toward him. Behind, the rest followed..."

Try to make these element as alive as you can make in order to increase the horror. Secondly, the protagonist itself feel a bit lacking in character. Allw e know about him is that he stumbled in something that would frightened him. if that was the case, what is he thinking? What does he make up with all of this? Is there anyone at home waiting for him? Why did he take this path? Was it because he finished work late or early? All these question in mind can form who Jason is.