Dry Limbs

Dry Limbs

A Poem by Jennifer
"

This could be an actual tree or really just a lonely soul...

"
A  single tree
An empty field
A thirsty heart
That cannot feel

It yearns for love
Its limbs are dry
An empty cup
Yells out cries

No one hears
The lonely cries
They are ignored
People pass by

Eventually
It died of thirst
Yearning for death
No pain felt worse

© 2018 Jennifer


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

To me, 'Yells out cries' doesn't work with the rest of the poem. Something like 'A softened sigh' as a line to rhyme with dry may have fitted in better, that way you are not repeating the word cries, as in 'The lonely cries' but that's just my opinion.
Apart from that I thought this was good. Also I don't think you need to explain that it could be a tree or lonely soul, the poem is powerful enough to let people make up their own mind.
Like I said only my opinion, one amongst thousands, it means as much or as little as you want it to.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jennifer

2 Years Ago

I appreciate your feedback! 💕 I always love any and all opinions because ultimately it helps me t.. read more



Reviews

Beautiful in its analogy that it could be both a lonely soul as well as an actual tree! A big warm welcome to the Writer's Cafe, Jennifer!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jennifer

2 Years Ago

Thank you so much! 💕 I appreciate that more than you know. I just left another site. I have writt.. read more
All living things need love. Perhaps the tree gets it from the sun. I can see the relationship in this. I would also agree with the writer below about the eighth line.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jennifer

2 Years Ago

Certainly. I appreciate your point of view very much! 💕 After reading my poem again...I can see w.. read more
 Relic

2 Years Ago

No problem, anytime. :)
To me, 'Yells out cries' doesn't work with the rest of the poem. Something like 'A softened sigh' as a line to rhyme with dry may have fitted in better, that way you are not repeating the word cries, as in 'The lonely cries' but that's just my opinion.
Apart from that I thought this was good. Also I don't think you need to explain that it could be a tree or lonely soul, the poem is powerful enough to let people make up their own mind.
Like I said only my opinion, one amongst thousands, it means as much or as little as you want it to.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jennifer

2 Years Ago

I appreciate your feedback! 💕 I always love any and all opinions because ultimately it helps me t.. read more

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

116 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on March 20, 2018
Last Updated on March 20, 2018
Tags: #Thirsty, #Lonely, #Dry, #Pain, #Limbs

Author

Jennifer
Jennifer

VA



About
I'm just a woman who loves to write poetry with a story to tell. I have written on other sites, but would like to see how this works out for me. I have been through quite a bit at a fairly young age. more..

Writing
VAPOUR VAPOUR

A Poem by Jennifer


INSOMNIA INSOMNIA

A Poem by Jennifer


Sleep on it Sleep on it

A Poem by Jennifer